Every Other Weekend
by Softrock-showtunesgirlscout22
Summary: Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend" On hiatus
1. Chapter 1

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship. Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **Hello lovely people! I'm back with another story, I'm not even sure if this is healthy for me anymore but I just couldn't get it off my mind and Mary and Matthew have once again taken over me.**

 **BTW. Here Mary has a much younger brother named Samuel (He was born 18 years after Sybil).**

 _Every other Friday_

 _It's toys and clothes in backpacks_

 _Is everybody in, okay?_

 _Let's go see dad_

 _Same time in the same spot_

 _Corner of the same old parking lot_

 _Half the hugs and kisses there are always sad_

 _We trade couple words and looks and kids again_

 _Every other weekend_

* * *

Matthew sat in his car and fidgeted with his hands like a child waiting to be called to the principal's office. Most of his life was like that these days, mostly when it came to seeing Mary. He didn't understand why he'd been so nervous to see his own wife.

And yet it terrified him.

He glanced over again to see if he spotted the van. It was black and big and full of children. His children.

He'd been a child when he'd first met Mary, not much older than 14. She had been abroad in England to see family and he just had happened to be there. Out of Boarding School for the summer as his mother had persuaded his father to let him have a regular holiday at home.

However, her idea of a summer at home meant staying at Downton with his distant relatives.

Very distant ones although they shared the same last name.

That was the first time he'd laid eyes on Mary Crawley; he was sure to have met her before, he probably had, but she mostly lived in New York with her mother while her father lived in Downton. It was quite the silly arrangement for his parents to have, but Cora insisted her children have more of an "American upbringing" whatever that meant.

Mary nor her siblings seemed to mind, not really, as her father visited regurlarly and never seemed to be absent from his children's lives.

Unlike Matthew. He'd gone to war. He was a medic and as such his services were more than often required.

And that meant he was barely home. He looked at himself in the mirror. Such vanity at such a young age. He was slimmer than he'd been years before. He was no longer training as much, as it had taken a toll on his health after his last deployment.

After his injury. He closed his eyes for a moment and a bitter taste flooded his mouth. He sighed. He then took his phone out. His lock screen was a picture of his children, their wide smiles staring back at him. He was about to text Mary when he spotted her pulling to the spot next to his in the parking lot.

He stepped out of the car slowly as doors began to fly open. Mary stepped out, looking as lovely as ever. It was pretty warm as the beginning of summer took full force in their small town. She smiled at him and he did too.

"I was beginning to think you had forgotten about me," He told her. Mary smiled.

"We did have a bit of a situation, I'm sorry," Matthew's eyes were full of worry. "Nothing bad, don't panic."

"Right." There was silence between them. "You look nice."

"Thank you." She said with a smile. "I'm going to lunch with Edith and Bertie."

"You are?" Matthew was utterly surprised. Mary and Edith's relationship wasn't an ideal one. Matthew had been sure they didn't even like each other. Not like Sybil or Samuel.

"Yes. We promised to be civilized with each other. Bertie has some news he can't wait to share with us."

"Everyone is going then?"

"They are." Mary added in, "Papa has been asking about you. He's glad to be here for the summer and spend time with his grandchildren, but he keeps asking about you."

"And what do you tell him?" He sounded harsh, cynical even but he didn't mean to. Mary noticed.

"Not much, it's not my place to," She told him. "You should stop by on Sunday, I'm sure he'd like to see you."

"And I would him." Matthew admitted. He loved Robert. He had been more of a parent than his own father had, not because he hadn't been a good one. Reginald was a great man and he loved his wife and son greatly but he was a bit too hard on Matthew, he still was.

"Daddy!" Matthew found himself engulfed by a pair of arms holding on to his good leg. Maggie. His sweet one.

"Hello my darling, how are you?" He looked down at her, holding on to push her up with his free hand, he was still strong enough to lift her up easily. Maggie giggled.

"You've grown, haven't you?" Asked Matthew playfully.

"Maybe." She said shyly.

"Now sweetie, we don't want to hurt Daddy," Mary chided. She could see Matthew was struggling to keep his balance.

"Down you go." He placed the little one down slowly.

"Why don't you go on ahead?" Mary suggested.

"Okay. Can we go get ice cream?" She asked.

"Ice cream this early?" Mary questioned. Matthew smiled nervously.

"After lunch of course." He put in. "Come on Mary, this isn't…"

"I'm not saying anything." She told him. "It's your time with them."

Matthew couldn't help but feel hurt. Mary moved to the van to make sure the rest of them got out of the car. George was plugged into his phone and had barely noticed they'd arrived. "Everyone out. We don't want to keep Daddy waiting." George rolled his eyes, grabbing his bag swiftly with one hand. His expression softened as soon as he saw his father.

"I thought you were done with that stick?" George said playfully.

"Not quite, I'm getting there." Matthew smiled. "How is hockey?"

"Now that's a real stick." He laughed. He watched as the youngest of the Crawley family made their way over to Matthew. Jack had fallen asleep on the way and Mary held him to her chest. Gracie held on to her doll as she held on to her mother's hand.

George helped Mary place Jack and Gracie in the back on the car as he and Maggie got in. "You all have everything?" Mary asked handing Matthew one last bag.

The children all nodded. "Make sure to listen to your father, I'll see you Sunday. Love you all."

"To the moon and back!" The kids echoed. She blew them all kisses.

"Everything will be fine Mary." Matthew told her.

"I know it will." She said with a soft smile. "Have fun."

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Gracie called from the back seat.

"I'm coming." Matthew laughed, he nodded at Mary's direction once more and made his way to the driver's seat. He waited until she had pulled out to follow her car out of the parking lot and out of his sight. "So, where would everyone like to go?" He asked as they drove.

"Burger King!"

"Pizzería!"

"Chuck E. Cheese!"

"Maybe just a kid friendly restaurant?" George suggested. Matthew laughed.

* * *

"Matthew took the children?" Robert asked as soon as Mary arrived at Edith's.

"It is his weekend after all, Papa." Mary said.

"Of course, but you could have asked him to join us. We are his family." He told her. Mary and Cora shared a glance.

"Robert, don't start."

"He already said he'd come and see you Sunday, I know you miss him." Mary said.

"Of course I miss him, he's my son in law. "

"Soon not to be," Edith mustered. Only Mary heard her.

"Is he still recovering dear?" Cora asked. "How is that going?"

"Tom does say he sees him in meetings and physical therapy so he's doing what he's meant to, isn't he, Mary?" Her youngest sister put in.

"Yes, he seems better." She admitted. It wasn't hard to see how much her family cared for Matthew, ever since they were children. "I don't talk to him much beyond the children these days."

"Good thing he's still friends with me, then?" Tom smiled at Mary. Thank goodness for Sybil and Tom.

"Good thing indeed, or else we wouldn't know if he was still around," Robert said annoyed. Mary rolled her eyes.

"He's a good father." Mary was beginning to experience a bit of a headache.

"Of course he is sweetheart." Cora agreed. "No one is saying he isn't."

"No, only Papa is suggesting that…"

"We're just worried about the two of you, that's all." Sybil told her kindly.

"There's nothing to worry about, we're making it work, and that's all you need to know. He's respecting my wishes and I am his."

* * *

"Matthew Crawley." They opted to go to a small diner. With that many mouths to feed, Matthew was thankful old Nan knew just what the children wanted. "Aren't you all a treat for sore eyes?"

"We were here like two weeks ago," George pointed out.

"Yes, you indeed were," She said. "I still like seeing you around here, I've missed you." She glanced over at Matthew. "How's everything?"

"It's going…. somewhere." Matthew told her. She smiled.

"It will get better sweetie. You just wait." Matthew nodded. George sat next to his father as his three siblings sat across from them.

"Does she have a thing for you, you think?" George asked.

"She's just being nice. Her husband served," Matthew told him.

"Still, it's like she's in love with you or something," Matthew rolled his eyes. "It is!"

"Mind your manners," Matthew told him. "She's a very nice woman, and she's about to feed us."

"And that can't be George, Mommy loves Daddy." Maggie said. Father and son glanced at each other. "Doesn't she?"

"Of course." Matthew smiled. "And I love her too. Very, very much."

"See?" She glared at him. "Duh."

"Shut up."

"You shut up." She glared back.

"Alright, enough. Let's focus on eating first alright? What's everyone having?"

"Milkshake." Maggie said. "And fries."

"What about some salad?"

"You're too British sometimes." George laughed. "I'll have tomato on my burger, don't worry." As soon as everyone had ordered the table turned into a battlefield for Matthew's attention, Maggie had a soccer game next week and George had hockey. Jack had a doctor's appointment. Maggie assured Matthew there was nothing to worry about.

"Gracie's play is in two weeks," Maggie said after a moment.

"Oh? It is?" He turned to his youngest daughter, Gracie who seemed worried for a moment. Maybe he'd forgotten. She nodded. "That's right, Mrs. Potts?" Gracie smiled.

"Yes, right before summer break." Maggie said. "Mom's working on her outfit with Aunt Sybil. Jamie Thorns is Belle." Maggie seemed to be on top of everything all the time.

"Well, I'm sure everyone is going to look their best. Especially Gracie."

"Would you practice with me?" Gracie asked shyly. Matthew's heart bellowed with warmth.

"Of course I will," He smiled brightly at her.

* * *

They made it back home around seven. They had gone for ice cream and a walk in the park with Perseus, Matthew's dog. He bathed the little ones and read them a story right after dinner, he wasn't much a cook but he had rather enjoyed all the cooking lessons Mrs. Patmore had given him as a child.

George teased him about it, but he loved it when his father cooked. He was the first one to offer his help, not on cleaning after the apparent mess they'd made.

He had laughed, and enjoyed every moment of being with his children. It wasn't easy for them, it wasn't easy on anyone but he marveled at just how his children were handling it.

He made his rounds with Gracie and Jack, both tucked in in the small room they shared with Maggie. He didn't seem able to find her though.

Maggie, she had fallen asleep on the couch next to the dog while the sound of the TV was the only one heard.

He leaned down carefully to pick her up, holding on to his crutch for dear life. He still had enough strength to carry her to bed. "Daddy."

"Go back to sleep sweet one." He said as he laid her down.

"I love you Daddy." Matthew smiled.

"I love you too." He kissed her forehead and tucked her in.

George had his own room. It wasn't a room per se. More like a big closet, big enough for a bed and a buró. He knocked softly on the door. He was still awake, clutching his hand on to a book. Harry Potter.

"I'm almost done with this chapter," He told him. Matthew smiled. He struggled the most with George because he was the oldest, and the one who had been around long enough for the whole of it. His deployments and visits.

The one to understand most of what was happening. And he was the one that was more like Mary in a way. He was kind but direct. "Time for bed," Matthew said. George glanced up at him. "It's late."

"It's Friday ." He answered back. Matthew sighed. "What?"

"Put that down for a moment I want to talk to you." George gave this a thought. He allowed Matthew to sit on the edge of the bed. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean? Everything is fine." George bit his lip. "Oh wait no, my parents don't live together, even though they are not divorced and we all have to pretend that's going to change sometime soon."

Matthew felt his chest constrict a little. "George, this isn't easy on any of us."

"Of course not. You and Mom just don't want us to be a family again." He glared.

"It's nothing like that sweetheart, we are a family." Matthew didn't know how to explain it to a 10 year old boy. "Your mother and I are trying to figure out what's best for all of us." George didn't answer.

"Can I please go to sleep now?" George asked. Matthew nodded, placing the now discarded book next the bed."I'm really tired."

"Of course. Good night." George didn't reply and it broke Matthew's heart, standing up, he turned off the light and closed the door behind him.

* * *

He dragged his feet towards the back room in the apartment. It wasn't his usual tidy, not as it had been. He didn't have a maid or a nanny for the children. Mary did. He saw Perseus already in his spot next to him. He patted his head for a moment and took a stumble on the bed.

He was tired. Four children were a lot to handle. He wondered how Mary did it all week, with school and classes of all sorts. He glanced over to turn off the light until something caught his eye.

It was a picture.

A picture of himself and Mary and the children at Downton. It seemed like ages ago. Mary smiled brightly as he held her close on his lap. Mary held baby Jack in her arms as he held on to Gracie with his free arm. Maggie and George were on either side of them.

He felt as tears invaded his eyes and that's how he fell asleep, clutching on to the life he had had once.

 **TBC.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **Thank you so much for all the feedback guys! I'm so excited to take this journey with all of you! Special thanks to Kelly who's the most amazing beta. I've made correction to chapter one and uploaded it again.**

 **On to the story!**

 _Every other weekend_

 _Very few exceptions_

 _I pick up the love we made in both my arms_

 _It's movies on the sofa, grilled cheese and cut the crust off_

 _"That's not the way mom makes it, daddy," breaks my heart_

 _I miss everything I use to have with her again_

 _Every other weekend_

* * *

For some miraculous reason, Mary had agreed to bring the children over to his apartment. She hadn't really seen it since he'd settled . It was rather small, modest.

Sybil and Tom had arranged for some of her grandmother's old furniture to be brought over. He had been against it.

Tom had called it a loan.

"You won't be living here for long anyway," Sybil had told him. "I'm sure you and Mary will work things out soon."

He hoped that too.

Perseus became impatient for a moment before there was a slight knock on the door.

Matthew sighed.

He could hear Mary scolding the children from the other side of the door.

"Hello," she said as soon as he opened the door. "We are here."

Matthew smiled. "I see that," He counted, one, two, three. "Where's George?"

The girls said their hellos to Matthew rather quickly as Perseus claimed their attention. Mary held little Jack close.

"Oh, he had some sort of a sleepover, it was last minute…" She assured him. "You'll see him tomorrow at the game."

Oh, right, the hockey match.

Game. Mary was more of an American, after all.

"Alright," Matthew smiled. "We'll do fine on our own, won't we?" He asked the girls whose giggles he took as an answer.

"Jack needs a nap, in case you are thinking of taking them out somewhere," Mary told him. He moved aside so she could step inside. Perseus welcomed her familiar smell happily.

"He's missed you," Matthew said sweetly. He'd told her to take the dog, but she'd refused.

She had already taken the children away; the dog would be too much to bear, Mary knew.

"I've missed him too, to be honest," she patted him softly behind the ears as Maggie and Gracie giggled around him.

They remained quiet for a moment. "I better put Jack down before I go," Mary told him. "Best behavior girls, Daddy and I will be back in a moment."

"Okay mommy!" Maggie said. Matthew left the girls on their own, Perseus being the forever guardian.

"Can you show me to the room?" Mary asked.

"Of course," He could see Mary was examining the place attentively as she walked. He led her to Jack's room.

Back when they started this arrangement Robert had offered to help him with expenses so he could settle well but he'd refused.

He was an Englishman and his pride was something he couldn't afford to lose. Not after all he was about to.

"It's rather small I know," Matthew admitted shyly as she put Jack down on the crib. Mary smiled.

"No, it's.. very you." Mary regretted instantly.

Crippled and broken? Matthew smiled grimly. "What does that mean?"

"Nothing, never mind." She said quickly.

"Mary." Her name burned in the back of his throat.

Was she ashamed of the way he had his children living? Truth be told, he couldn't afford much these days, not with physical therapy and child support; Not that Mary had asked for any, Lord knows she didn't really need it;

"I should go," She told him. "I'm meeting Lavinia for drinks."

Lavinia Swire, a friend of Mary's who had also made a move from England to America, had the biggest crush on Matthew growing up, he, of course, only had eyes for Mary.

Now, their children went to school together. She'd married some Wall Street banker.

Far from where Matthew stood right now; Sybil, bless her heart; had managed hire him part time in the clinic where she worked to earn some money. Oher than that, his pension was the only thing keeping him afloat.

"How is she?" Matthew asked."Lavinia?"

"She's quite alright, pregnant again, happy, she and James are taking a long deserved vacation to York over the summer."

"That's nice," If there'd be any other circumstances, they'd be doing something similar, spending time at Downton.

"I'll tell her you said hello," Mary said. "She's always asking about you."

"Another one pitting the wounded soldier?" Matthew asked bitterly.

Mary glanced at him. "Don't start…"

"Why shouldn't I?" He shot at her. "It's the truth."

"It's your truth Matthew, not everyone else's," She said sternly. "I'm going now, I'll see you tomorrow. "

After that, she showed herself out, leaving Matthew alone in the room. He took a seat on the lower bunk. His mind swirling, his heart aching, if it was only his truth, then why couldn't they make it work?

"Daddy?" Maggie seemed to notice he had not come back out. Matthew had to put on a brave face. She sat beside him. "Wanna watch a movie with us?"

Matthew smiled. "Of course,"

She offered him her hand. "Don't be sad Daddy, aunt Sybil says things are always bright in the end."

She was six and she knew more about life than him, he pitied himself, and so, he couldn't see beauty of what his children were offering.

Hope.

* * *

 _He was dazzled by her since he was a young boy, she was 13, he was a year older, so people always told him to look after Mary, she was after all, a lady._

 _Matthew knew early on just how much Cousin Robert was worth. Not as much as the King but he came close, especially after he'd traveled to the Abbey for the first time. There were so many rooms, you cold get lost and if people didn't look hard enough, Matthew figured, you'd get lost forever._

 _"This will be your room, Master Matthew," Thomas said. He was meant to be a butler of some sort, although for a middle class boy, all of that was very confusing. One thing he understood was the fact that Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson cared for the house when Robert was away._

 _Mr. Carson was a strict but kind man, Mrs. Hughes was just as nice, but kept in check as much as her husband._

 _"You can just call me Matthew," He insisted. Yet, Thomas did no such thing._

 _"How you do you like your room Matthew?" Cora asked kindly as he made it downstairs for dinner his first night at the Abbey. "I do hope it's alright?"_

 _Matthew simply couldn't find the words to describe the place, it was bigger than the flat he and his parents called home._

 _A single room!_

 _Not that he'd ever acknowledge it in front of his parents, he did not want to be ungrateful and hurt their feelings._

 _"Oh my, I think he's rather speechless," Isobel laughed. "Manners, Matthew. "_

 _"It is very nice Cousin Cora, thank you," Matthew said with a wide grin. "Thank you." She laughed._

 _"Well, it is very nice to have you here, I'm sure it will be interesting having a boy around with all of us girls," Cora said. "Robert loves his girls Lord knows, but he's always wanted a son."_

 _"Indeed I have," Robert admitted. "Someone to be on my side for a change."_

 _"I'll be if you want Cousin Robert," Matthew said. "Be on your side, I mean."_

 _"Oh boy, now we're in trouble," Cora put in._

 _"Where on earth are those girls anyway?" Robert asked, none of them had come out to welcome the Crawley's home, much to Robert's dismay._

 _"Last I heard Mary was riding. I'll tell Nanny to bring Edith and Sybil," Cora said._

 _"Mary is about your age Matthew," Robert said, "I'm sure you'll find something to talk about."_

 _Matthew suddenly became anxious, his parents had told him about Mary. She was not like the girls in his school, she took her lessons at home and dressed always for diner. Matthew found it rather annoying, really. The fact you couldn't come down to enjoy your meal wearing pajamas._

 _His mother made wear an itchy sweater. Robert led him and his parents to the dining room when Carson announced dinner was ready._

 _It was then that Mary and her sisters first made an appearance. Mary was a year younger than Matthew yet she was quite beautiful._

 _"Nice of you to join us," Robert said in condescending tone. Mary rolled her eyes but apparently only her mother and in this case, Matthew, had noticed. Thomas led Sybil and Edith to the dinner table._

 _The Earl's eldest child quickly made notice of the guests. Reginald and Isobel introduced themselves to the young trio. Sybil was adorable as Edith was polite._

 _Mary took an interest in Matthew, although in that moment she had already stolen his heart. He hadn't realized it yet though._

 _"Mary sweetheart, why don't you sit next to Matthew?" Cora said. "I'm sure the two of you will have a lot to talk about."_

 _"Hello Mary, let me help you, " He moved the chair so she could sit. Manners first, his mother always said._

 _Mary was a bit taken aback but she allowed it. "Thank you," She said. Matthew grinned and took a seat next to her._

 _The table was a midst of merged conversations. "I'm sorry you missed Mama," Robert told Isobel and Reginald. "I'm afraid she's a bit under the weather."_

 _"Oh?" Isobel said. "It's a pity we missed her, I certainly hope it isn't serious." Isobel was a certified nurse, it was in her nature to be curious._

 _"No, nothing to worry about, but we thought best for you to see each other some other time," Robert concluded. "We'd hate for the children to catch it."_

 _Matthew had heard of Cousin Violet. She was an exemplary woman, an aristocrat by blood and trade. Her husband was long gone now, so she doted on her children and grandchildren, in her very particular way._

 _"Mary," Cora said. "I do hope you show Matthew around, maybe take him for a ride around the state."_

 _Matthew turned to look at Mary, curiously._

 _"I'm sure we can find you a horse," Robert added in. "Don't you worry."_

 _"You do know how to?" Mary asked Matthew. It was then he noticed her accent. It wasn't quite as prominent as his. Well, she did live in New York for most of the year._

 _"I ride," Matthew said quickly. Mary wasn't entirely convinced. But she kept quiet, she would make her discoveries later._

 _Much to Matthew's embarrassment, it would be sooner, rather than later._

 _As soon as dinner was over, the children were sent to bed, after all, it was passed their bedtime._

 _Matthew walked alongside Mary as they made it to their respective rooms. Hers was first." Goodnight Cousin Matthew."_

 _"Goodnight, Mary." Matthew said kindly._

 _"I hope you are well rested for tomorrow," She said holding on to her door. Matthew arched an eyebrow._

 _"To go for a ride," She said in a Matter-of-factly_

 _"Oh," he hesitated. "Yes, of course." Mary nodded._

 _Matthew sighed. He'd make a fool of himself, he was sure of it._

* * *

Matthew sat between his daughters as the movie started playing on screen. _Beauty and The Beast._

Research, Maggie had said, Matthew wasn't even sure she knew the meaning of the word. Jack was on his lap, a bottle in hand.

"See Jack, we have to pay attention," Maggie scrunched her nose in concentration.

Matthew found it adorable. It reminded him of Mary at a young age.

Even more adorable was just how much little Jack seemed to be paying attention to his sister's instructions.

He was a mere two year old chap.

Two years ago. His life had been so different.

Before his last deployment. Before he could start going down that road once more,his phone buzzed. He kissed Jack's forehead and placed him safely in between his sisters "Hello?"

"Dad?" It was George. "I wanted to say goodnight. Sorry I missed today ."

"Your mother mentioned you had a sleepover?" He was glad he'd called.

"Yeah, you remember Toby from my team?" George began. "He invited all of us over."

"That was nice of him, " Matthew smiled. "I hope you told him how you left your dear old dad alone."

"You're not old," George huffed. "And you're not alone. "

"Alright," Matthew said. "I might be exaggerating a bit."

"You think?" His son sounded almost like a teenager. "Anyway, I have to go. We're going to the movies."

"You better not be out too late, you do have a big match tomorrow morning. " Matthew could picture George rolling his eyes.

"Game, Dad. "

"Right." Matthew said with a laugh.

"Daddy! You're missing the best part!" Maggie called from the couch.

"I have to go, duty calls," he told George. "Be good, have a good time. I love you."

"I will Dad, love you too. "

* * *

As soon as the movie was over, Matthew got ready to make dinner.

"Grilled cheese sandwich?" That was so American. "Are you sure that's all you want?"

The girls nodded. "Grilled cheese sandwich it is." He sighed.

Maggie watched him closely. "Wait!"

Matthew dropped the knife he was holding. "What is it, darling?"

He was halfway through cutting the crust off.

"That's not the way Mommy makes it," Maggie said shyly. "She doesn't cut it, says that part is good for you."

"But you love it this way." Matthew said, a glint of sadness in his voice.

"Not anymore, " Maggie said.

Matthew eyed his youngest daughter. "And you? Same huh?"

Gracie nodded and Matthew felt his heart shatter.

"Fine, then we'll have crust on our grilled cheese sandwich."

He ate slowly, trying to pay attention to his rambling girls and feeding Jack.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"We need to practice," Gracie put in. "You promised."

"I did, didn't I?" Matthew said, a bit embarrassed. "Tell you what? I'm going to go give Jack a bath and as soon as I get back we'll all do it together, how is that?"

* * *

Jack smelled so good. Baby smell was the purest smell out there.

He remembered it was his and Mary's most intimate moment with their children. It was something they'd ask the nanny not to do because they enjoyed it immensely. As he washed his son's back gently, he began to feel sick. A little cramped as his leg hurt. He sat with his back to the tub.

"When am I going to fix this mess we're all in, huh?" He asked the baby. His bright blue eyes sparkled in the dim light. "Do you think Mommy will forgive me for my stupidity?"

Jack reached for his hair making him smile. "Mommy."

"I don't know what else to do," Matthew said bitterly. "I don't know what else she wants from me."

Jack fell asleep rather quickly after his bath. Matthew wanted to sleep too.

But he'd made a promise.

He found the two girls sitting on the couch, a few pages in each hand.

"Here Daddy, you're the Beast, okay?" Maggie said. "I'm Belle."

Matthew smiled sweetly. "Certainty a very beautiful one,"

"Focus Daddy," Maggie scolded him, making her little sister laugh. "Now you start."

You'd think it was her play and not Gracie's.

Matthew coughed a couple times:

 **BEAST: Belle? Are you happy here with me?**

 **BELLE: Yes.**

 **BEAST: What is it?**

 **BELLE: If only I could see my father again,**

 **just for a moment. I miss him so much.**

 **BEAST: There is a way.**

"Wait, Daddy. You're talking like you. Beast don't talk like that. " Her stare was so familiar to Matthew, he almost wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

"Do a Beast voice Daddy, please?" Gracie encouraged him.

How on earth was he going to manage doing that?

Oh lord, but he couldn't afford to disappoint his sweet children. He sighed and tried again. His voice was deep and powerful and he could see the girl's eyes shine with amazement.

 **BEAST: Then...then you must go to him.**

 **BELLE: What did you say?**

 **BEAST: I release you. You are no longer my prisoner.**

 **BELLE: You mean...I'm free?**

 **BEAST: Yes**.

* * *

"Daddy?" Gracie asked as Matthew tucked them both in, later that night.

"Yes, love?"

"You were a really good Beast, scary," She said sweetly.

"Was I really?" Matthew asked. "Well I'm glad I could help. "

Yes, he did not know what would happen or rather how he would win Mary back, but he wasn't ready to give up.

He knew she still loved him. He hadn't asked for a divorce just yet and he wasn't keen on letting it come to that.

He dialed her number. He knew she'd still be awake at this hour, probably reading.

"Matthew?" She asked. "Everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, did I wake you?"

"No, I wasn't sleeping just yet. The house is too quiet so I'm watching some romantic movie,"

"Oh," Matthew said "Listen I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier, for having you leave the way you did."

Matthew held his breath.

"We need to talk, don't we? Why don't you come over on Sunday to drop the children off? We can talk, then."

He almost wanted to weep. "Alright," Matthew smiled on the phone. "Good night Mary,"

"Good night Matthew."

Mary turned to the side, her phone clutched in her hand. The sound of the television helped with the silence whenever the children were gone.

She hated silence. She had grown to dread it after Matthew's so many years in the military.

Mary turned to the small bedside table. Opening a drawer, she found herself reminiscing.

There were pictures of each of the children as they made their way into the world. Matthew was there always, by her side, beaming proudly.

She came upon a particular one, it was one of George's first.

God, she had been a child. They both were, really, when they became parents, so willing to live and experience.

She so wanted to feel like that again.

 **TBC.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **Thank you so much reading and reviewing, it makes me feel so happy! And thank you again to Kelly!**

 **I own nothing, enjoy!**

 _Every other Saturday_

 _First thing in the morning_

 _I turn the TV on to make the quiet go away_

 _I know why, but I don't know why_

 _We ever let this happen_

 _Fallin' for forever was a big mistake_

 _There's so much not to do and all day not to do with him_

 _Every other weekend_

* * *

Her phone's annoying beep went off later than usual. She was used to either Jack's cries in the room next door or Gracie sneaking in during the early morning.

She didn't get to sleep in either way until pass midday. Nor was she used to; still, eleven was too late for her.

The house was awfully quiet. Saturdays were like this since Matthew had the children.

Back in the day she would wake up to the sound of laughter or Perseus's barking in the backyard.

Turning on the TV to some news channel, she put on a robe and made her way down and into the kitchen.

She poured herself some coffee and pulled out her phone. She had a text from Sybil, it was an adorable picture of her and little Sybbie at the park.

Mary sighed. She texted her back, praising the photo.

She had a similar one in George's room.

She and Matthew had taken the little boy to the park one summer afternoon, shortly after they moved outside the city and into Hamilton.

Their small town paradise. The perfect place to raise a family. New York seemed too much for Matthew at the time and Mary agreed.

Not long after that, Sybil joined them in town after her she'd married Tom, Edith had stayed in the City where she'd met Michael Greggson and later, Bertie.

* * *

She went into her son's room. It was just as Anna had left it yesterday; it was clear George had not spent the night.

Thank goodness for Anna. She and Mary had become great friends. She was a kind and understanding girl although Mary knew she didn't approve of her and Matthew's current situation.

"He loves you," Anna had said. "He would give the world for you and those kids."

Mary had no doubt about it. She knew just how much that man loved her.

How much he cherished those beautiful children.

She spotted the small picture in a collage on the side of George's wall.

It had mostly pictures of airplanes and hockey, his current obsessions. There were also pictures of herself, the girls and baby Jack.

And Matthew.

God, he looked so much like Matthew that Mary found it hard to look at him at times. She wanted to grab the phone and ask him to come home.

This was his home after all. Matthew had surprised her with it as a second wedding anniversary. He still had down payments and a mortgage but it was theirs and that was enough.

Back when she was a child Mary thought so much of what she wanted her life to be like: she'd move back to Downton with Robert and make a name for herself while still keeping the lifestyle she'd grown to love.

Then Matthew had come along and all those dreams turned into something else. He'd made her see that there was more to life than luxury and prices.

She unhooked the picture and stared at it for a minute, just getting lost in those beautiful blue eyes, their wide smiles. Everything her boys shared.

Matthew had joined their son on the slide despite her protests. He had him cradled against his chest as George giggled.

Mary traced her fingers across Matthew's face, tears threatened her eyes as she put the picture back neatly in place.

She decided to take a quick shower and turn on cartoons as she got dressed. She wore a pair of jeans and sneakers with a simple navy blue blouse.

Her heavy hockey jersey which had George's team on it would have to wait until they were at the rink.

* * *

Sybil called her around 3 pm and suggested they went for a quick meal before the game.

Mary was sure Matthew would take the children out for pizza after it, so she would have to settle with a quick dinner at home unless her Mama and Papa said otherwise.

"You're awfully quiet today," Sybil said as she toted her daughter.

Tom was running late so Mary found herself alone with the person who, other than Matthew, knew her best. Of course, she noticed something was off.

"I'm fine," Mary said avoiding her gaze. "What are you having? I'm thinking maybe…"

"Really, Mary?" Sybil rolled her eyes. "You're not going to tell me?"

"What?" She asked annoyed.

"Whatever it's bothering you," Sybil placed her child on a high chair by her side. "Does it have to do with Matthew?"

Of course, everything did.

"No." She said

"It does! Oh I wish you would just tell me!" Sybil said.

She could be such a child sometimes.

Mary bit her lip. If there was one person she could trust with her troubles it was Sybil. "I asked Matthew to come to the house on Sunday so we could talk."

Sybil's eyes widened. "Really?"

"That's it? I thought you'd be jumping up and down." Mary huffed.

"Depends." Sybil took a sip of her drink, "Is there a reason for me to be jumping?"

"I'm not even sure why I asked him to come anyway," Mary said sadly. "I just…"

"Wanted to see those blue eyes?" Sybil said playfully.

"I see them every day, thank you," Mary said.

Sybil shot her a look. "I bet he used that sexy Manchester accent and you couldn't resist."

Mary rolled her eyes once more. "You're impossible."

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to cheer you up," Sybil told her. "Honestly, is that what's bothering you?"

"I don't know, this whole thing with him is just so exhausting," Mary sighed. "I'm just tired of it all."

"Then do something about it," Her younger sister said.

"Isn't that what I'm doing?" Mary asked.

"Not if you are just sending him back to that apartment later," Sybil said in all seriousness.

"You know that's not how it works Sybil," Mary told her sadly. "I cannot allow him to come back into my life that easily."

"But why not, he's already in your life anyway Mary," her sister said. "He's the father of your children. He'll always be there."

"Of course," Mary said. "For the children, me? I'm not quite sure I'm ready."

* * *

Matthew woke up to the sound of the girl's giggles outside his room. He refused to lock the door in case something were to happen, still they hadn't come in.

Perseus was fast to welcome them though, licking their faces.

"Shh…" Maggie hissed. "You'll wake up daddy."

He could hear the sound of small feet as they made their way over to him.

Maggie hesitated for a moment. She decided not to wake him, instead she climbed on the other side of the bed, and Gracie did too. Her face was inches from Matthew's.

He could feel her long hair on his face.

"Daddy…" Gracie whispered, only to be shushed by her older sister. That was when Maggie noticed Matthew was actually awake, winking at her.

Gracie sighed as she fell back on the bed.

"Oh goodness, I believe there's a couple monsters in my bed," Matthew said as he got a hold of Gracie without her noticing.

She giggled in delight. "Daddy!" He'd begun to tickle her. "No! Stop!"

"I must fight the monster!" He roared.

Soon enough Maggie joined in the fun. "What shall I fight it with?"

"Kisses?" The older girl suggested. Matthew kissed the little girl's cheek sweetly.

* * *

This was the best way to wake up. He cuddled with the girls for a while but the baby monitor soon beeped to make them aware Jack was up.

"Do we have to?" Maggie asked as Matthew suggested they get up for breakfast.

"No, not right away," He told her. "Here." He turned on the TV and made his way to the back room where Jack had become impatient.

"Good morning." Matthew ducked down for the little boy. His cries subsided as he rocked him gently.

"Daddy," Jack sobbed quietly.

Out of all the children, he was the calmest one. Dabbling words here and there still.

"It's alright, I'm here," Matthew soothed him. "Daddy's here."

He got the baby changed and made his way back to the main bedroom where the girls were still watching cartoons.

It was mornings like this that made him think most of Mary and their old life.

Their life before war and duty. Heartbreak and addiction.

* * *

" _Do we have to?" Mary asked glancing at the clock on her left. The kids were not awake yet._

 _"I'm afraid we must," He told her sweetly._

 _"Kiss me first," Mary told him. "I need a good morning kiss before facing the day." Matthew laughed._

 _"Facing what exactly?" She reached for his face but he pulled back. Mary glared at him. "Doing Pilates?"_

 _"Dealing with three energetic kids, is that enough?" She told him._

 _"Darling, Gracie can't even walk," He said._

 _"That doesn't mean she's quiet or less rambunctious than the other two." Mary smiled._

 _"Matthew?"_

 _"Yes?"_

 _"Kiss me already or you won't be able to for three days." Matthew's eyes widened._

 _"You wouldn't dare."_

 _"Watch me." She pulled the covers aside, but he was quicker and grabbed her arm, pulling her back against him._

 _"Sh…. You'll wake them!" He said as she giggled._

 _"And it will be your fault," She hissed at him._

 _"I better do something about it then," He said mischievously, grabbing her face and kissing her deeply._

* * *

He made the children breakfast and suggested they take Perseus for a walk around the park.

He sat on a bench as he kept a close watch on both girls and his wobbling boy as they played.

He closed his eyes for a moment, allowing memories to wash over him.

" _Matthew!" Mary called after him as he held George high on his shoulders. "You're not serious."_

 _"Oh, but I am." He grinned at her. "And so is George."_

 _The little boy giggled in delight as Matthew climbed onto the slide and placed him on his lap sliding down._

 _Despite her protest, she had managed to snap the most beautiful picture of both her boys._

 _"If there's even a scratch on him Matthew Crawley, you'll be the one to pay!" Mary scolded him as he walked back._

 _"Relax, he's fine," Matthew said. "In fact, he's more than fine, aren't you little one?"_

 _George stared up at his father, a wide smile on his face._

 _"See?" Matthew said. "Everything is perfect mommy, stop worrying." He touched Mary's cheek softly, leaning to kiss her._

 _"It's my job to worry." Mary chided._

 _"Not when you sound like your mother." Matthew said._

 _She glared at him._

 _"Give me the baby," she demanded. "I'd hate for him to see what I'm about to do to you."_

 _Matthew smiled mischievously._

 _"Mary, we are in public!" Matthew laughed._

 _She rolled her eyes. "You're such a child."_

 _"Oh but you love me." Matthew kissed her cheek. Mary pulled into a more heated kiss on the lips._

* * *

"Daddy!" Maggie called. "Daddy, watch me!"

Maggie was pushing herself on the swing.

"I am, darling," He told her. Perseus came back with the ball he'd thrown a moment before, placing his head on his knee.

"Here you go, get it then!" He threw it again, the dog dashing after it.

He stood up and got a hold of Jack who was playing inside the sandbox.

"Daddy, can you push me?" Gracie asked.

"Sure," he said softly. He held Jack with one arm and pushed the swing gently with the other, his crutch, serving as support.

" _Can you push me?" Mary asked Matthew. They'd just come back from his first riding lesson in which he'd made a complete fool of himself._

 _He nodded and stayed like that for a while, pushing her gently._

 _"Matthew?" Mary asked._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"What do you want to be when you're grown?"_

 _Matthew bit his lip. He'd thought about becoming a doctor like his father. His mother was a nurse, so that made perfect sense._

 _"I'm not sure just yet," he admitted joining her on the swings. "What about you?"_

 _Mary smiled. "I want to compete." She rolled her eyes at his confused eyes. "With horses."_

 _"Oh, makes sense," Matthew said. "I'm sure you'll do perfect."_

 _Mary blushed._

 _"No I won't if I don't practice," She admitted._

 _They remained quiet, the Downton summer afternoon washing down on them._

 _"We best be getting back, your father will be mad at us if we're late for dinner." Matthew said._

 _Mary wanted to roll her eyes. He was so… charming it made her want to barf._

 _"You don't have to do everything Papa tells you, you know?" She told him as they walked back. "He already likes you."_

 _Matthew bit his tongue. He didn't want to push his luck with her._

 _It was only his second day at Downton. But he so much wanted Mary to like him too._

* * *

"Papa." Mary kissed her parents. "You really didn't have to dress like that."

Sybil suppressed a giggle. Both her parents were so old fashioned that seeing Robert wearing a jersey was something you didn't see everyday.

"Nonsense," Robert said. "I'm here to enjoy this match of ice hockey and shall do it properly."

"Game, Robert dear." Cora mused.

"Besides, you're all dressed for it." he told Mary.

"Well as a mother I have to."

"And as a grandfather I shall too. Have you seen George yet?"

"No, he was with his friends, I'm sure he'll be here soon, although I'm not sure we´ll see him before it starts. "Where's Edith?"

"She sends her love, Marigold's got a terrible cold, and she couldn't get out of the house or drive such a long way." Cora said.

"Mary!" Samuel called to his sister enthusiastically. She had not seen him the day before as he'd gone on a play date.

God, he was younger than George and her little brother. "Can I go find George?"

"He isn't here yet." Tom told him.

"Can we go skate on the ice then?" He asked. "The game hasn't started yet, I bet they'll let us."

"No sweetest, they're getting ready for the game," Sybil told him. "Besides, you don't even have your skates."

Samuel's face fell. "Tom and I will take you skating next weekend, how's that?"

His eyes shined. "You will?"

"Of course." His sister said.

"Can Mathew come too?" Sam said suddenly.

Sybil could see Mary tense a bit. "He's the best at making turns. Can he Mary?"

"Samuel…" Cora said warningly. Mary smiled softly. He was only a year older than Maggie, she couldn't really hold it against him if he missed Matthew.

"You should ask him," Mary said. "I'm sure he'd like that, although I doubt he'd be able to skate with his leg as it is"

"But," Sybil added. "Tom and I will keep him at bay if he tries something dangerous." Mary turned to her.

"You shouldn't encourage him, Matthew's still not back to…"

Just as on cue, Maggie and Gracie made their way towards them with Matthew and Jack closely behind.

Samuel didn't waste any time to ask Matthew about their outing. Stealing the thunder of everyone else, and in spite of his injury, he didn't discourage the young boy.

Mary locked eyes with Matthew. She smiled, and he did too.

"So, will you come?" Sam asked. "Please!"

It was funny really, how Sam was just as much Mary's child or Sybil's as he was Cora's.

Matthew smiled. "Of course Sam. I'll be there, I'll call Sybil and Tom on Friday afternoon, I might not be able to do much, but I can tell you how to do it."

"Yes!" Sam said. "You can come too if you want Mary." He added.

Before she could answer Matthew asked about George. He was sure he'd seen Toby's father park near them when they arrived.

"I'm going to go check on him." Matthew said looking at his phone. "Shall we go find him?" He asked Sam.

"Matthew, are you sure you should be going up and down stairs with that?" Cora asked.

"Yes, it's perfectly safe."

"Daddy, wait for us!" Maggie called after them, dragging Gracie along.

Mary rolled her eyes as Tom took Jack from Matthew and led the other children down.

"Are you alright, Mary?" Tom asked. "Don't be mad at him, he's just happy to be here."

"He's here every game," She shot at him.

"I think Mary's just upset Samuel stole all the attention from her and she didn't even to say hello," Sybil said with a knowing look.

Tom smiled.

"She told you, didn't she?" Mary sneered at her sister.

"I had to, you know Tom and I are on your side." Sybil whispered.

"Yes, I'm very aware of your soft spot where my relationship is concerned."

"Just be careful Mary." Tom said.

"Nothing is going to happen," She said.

"Last time you said that, George happened." Sybil said.

Mary sighed. She'd never win with those two and their relentless pursuit of happiness for her and her husband.

* * *

"Dad!" George first spotted Matthew. "You're here!"

"Of course I am, and so are your granddad and grandmama."

"Is he wearing a jersey?" George asked amused.

"Yes." Matthew laughed.

"Donk looks funny." Gracie said giggling, referring to her grandfather.

"Don't tell him that." Matthew said seriously. "We don't want to hurt his feelings."

He turned to George. "Well we just wanted to come down and wish you good luck."

"Luck George!" Samuel said with a smile.

"Thanks." He smiled.

"Remember to have fun." Matthew told him. He touched his chin softly.

"I will."

"We'll be cheering for you!" Maggie said with a grin. "Here." She hugged him.

"George! Come on buddy, we have to get ready!" The coach called.

"Well that's our cue everyone, let's go." He grabbed his stick with one hand and Gracie's hand in the other.

He winked at George one more time before heading back.

* * *

"You found him?" Cora asked as they made their way back up. Matthew took a seat next to Maggie as he put Gracie on his lap. "So how was yesterday girls? We missed you."

"We practiced for my play." Gracie said happily.

"You did?" Cora asked genuinely interested.

"Daddy was the Beast," Maggie explained. Matthew turned red.

"Oh goodness," Sybil laughed. "I wonder how that went…"

"I happen to be a very convincing one, thank you very much." He smiled at Sybil.

"Daddy, was the best!" Gracie chipped in.

"Well then, he should show us all." Tom put in, much to Mathew's dread.

"Yes daddy!" Maggie put in. "Mommy too. You have to show her too."

Matthew looked over at Mary with a knowing glance, blushing a little.

The game began and as promised, the whole Crawley clan was there to cheer George on.

His team didn't win. Mary sighed as he knew how much she and George were alike. He wouldn't take defeat too kindly.

As they made their way into the late afternoon, George thanked everyone for being there.

"Even though I sucked!" he hissed. Cora glanced over at Robert, a soft smile appearing on her lips.

That boy was so much like his mother.

"George..." Matthew began. "We've talked about this, it doesn't really matter…"

"You win and you lose some," Tom said. "There's no harm done."

George rolled his eyes at his uncle as Mary offered him an apologetic glance on her son's behalf.

"Are we still going to go get pizza?" Maggie asked when they reached Matthew's car.

"George?" Mary turned to her son. He shrugged.

"Well I think we should go. Donk is a bit too tired from all the excitement."

"I'm tired?" Robert asked amused. "No, not really, a bit…" he said when Cora glared at him. "Sybil, Tom? Will you stay for dinner at the house?"

"Mary too of course," Cora added in.

"Yes, of course…." Mary nodded and Sybil led Robert and Cora to their car.

She waited until she was alone with him, away from her parent's meddling. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Of course. Seven?"

"Seven is fine," She smiled softly. She watched as the children got in the car, George turning away from her.

"I´ll talk to him," Matthew said with a smile.

"At least he'll listen to you, he's barely said a word to me all day." She said sadly.

"Don't worry," he told her.

"That's all I do when it comes to George, he's too much like me," Matthew touched her arm softly. "Take care of them and please take care too."

"Of course," Matthew smiled. "Good night Mary."

She nodded, waving the girls goodbye as she watched him get in the car.

She felt Sybil's arm wrap around her as they both watched him drive away. "Girls, are you coming?" Robert called.

And so Mary waited for the morning to bring on a new feeling of bravery, one which had seemed to disappear during the last 24 hours.

* * *

 **There's no talk yet! It's only Saturday after all, don't worry, I'll update later this week!**

 **TBC.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **Thank you so much reading and reviewing, it makes me feel so happy! And thank you again to Kelly!**

 **I own nothing, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 4** :

Neither Mathew or George spoke the whole way home. The little boy was too upset over his lost game, and it was best to let him process it the way he saw fit.

But Matthew remembered it all too well. Just how upset Mary was as she competed and didn't win. He'd been there for it all.

Mathew sighed and instead focused on the girl's rambling over how their last week of school before summer would go.

"I'd be a good Belle, right Daddy?" Gracie asked. Last night Maggie had taken on the role and her sister had not said a thing, but now that he thought about it, it would certainly seem fit she had played the fearless heroine.

"Of course," he said softly looking back at the review mirror.

"Then you should have played her and not Jamie." Maggie said. "I'll let you be Belle tonight."

Matthew smiled. Maggie had Mary's strong will and wit, but she was a kind soul, especially when it came to her little sister.

"We shall practice again then," Matthew smiled. "And who should I play?"

"You gotta be the Beast, you're the bestest!" Gracie smirked.

"George should play Lummiere," Maggie piped in. "would you George?"

"I guess."

"Cheer up," Matthew said as he touched his leg softly. "It was a good game."

"No it wasn't," George said bitterly. "Coach is getting ready for next season and try outs are soon, I'll never be captain if I keep messing it up." Matthew glanced over at him with a smile.

"Then you try again. It doesn't mean you won't get it. It just means it might take you longer." Matthew said. George smiled softly. "Trust me, I know."

Dinner was quiet enough. Matthew kept thinking about how his conversation with Mary might go.

There were so many ways. She could ask him to come back or walk out of her life forever.

He shivered at the prospect of not being with her, he'd been holding for too long,-ever since he was 14- to let her go now.

But he didn't blame her either. Not really. He'd made those decisions

and they were his alone.

They got home and Matthew put Jack to bed. He practiced with the girls for an hour or so. The delight on Gracie's face as she played Belle was everything.

Even George had a good time with his fake French accent.

"Straight to bed," Matthew told the girls. "Go on and I'll tuck you in in a minute."

"Can we watch some TV?" Maggie asked.

"Please?" Gracie echoed.

It was only 8:30. Half an hour was more than enough to tire them with cartoons.

George got ready for bed as well and once he had the girls settled, Matthew focused on his eldest child.

"I wonder why I never got invested in those books" Matthew said causally, George was focused on his book as soon as he sat on the bed.

George looked up. "You should, they're so good."

"Maybe I will," Matthew smiled. "I'm sure aunt Sybil will give you the next one for your birthday."

Matthew swung his crutch as he struggled to find a way to reach out.

"I'm sorry about how today went, I know how important it is to you " He told him. "But…"

"Is this about mom?" George inquired.

"It is," Matthew sighed. "She loves you son."

"I know." The boy said. "I don't mean it, not really."

"Then why do you make it so hard for her to understand you?" Matthew's voice was calm. "You and her are more alike than you realize."

"It was just a game Dad," George bit his lip.

He reminded him so much of Mary when he did that.

"It's not just about that." Matthew said sweetly, sitting by the bed. "She wants to make this easier on everyone."

"How?" George shot. "She hasn't asked you to come home."

Matthew's heart sank. He couldn't expect him to understand and yet he wished he could.

He wished he could mend his relationship with Mary.

"It's not that simple sweetheart." Matthew said.

"It is, it's her fault you left." George said bitterly. "She said you wouldn't leave again and you did."

"I'm right here," Matthew tried to reach for him but the little boy pulled back. "I'm not going anywhere."

George couldn't help as tears stained his cheeks; he was just ten after all. "But you did leave."

"Come here," Matthew wrapped the boy into a hug but he fought him a little. "it's not like that…"

"No, stop!" He pushed him to the side as Matthew kissed his head softly as he sobbed.

"Shh…it's alright," Matthew said softly into his hair. "I know you are mad, and you have every right to be, but don't take it out on your mother, she needs you. More than you know."

* * *

 _Mary was having a fit as she stomped her way back into the house; Matthew tried to keep up with her._

 _"Mary, wait!" He called._

 _She ignored him. "Leave me alone!"_

 _"Not until you talk to me," Matthew said calmly. She rolled her eyes._

 _"All you want to do is talk," she spat. "Where's that ever going to take you?"_

 _"To convince you you're good enough," He told her simply._

 _"I'm not," Mary said. "And I don't want to talk about it."_

 _She was halfway up the stairs when he pulled on her arm._

 _"Matthew, I swear to God…" she was cut off half way by his lips and soon his teeth._

 _"Would you shut up?" He told her as they broke the kiss. "And listen to me?" Mary was not a child anymore. She was behaving like one for sure, but at 16, she was farther away from childhood than adulthood._

 _"You won't accomplish anything with kissing me," she told him. "You'll only make it worse, especially if Papa or Carson were to catch us."_

 _"I got you to stop babbling, didn't I?" Matthew said with a glint of satisfaction._

 _"I do not babble," Mary said wrapping her arms around his neck._

 _"Winning is not the most important thing," He told her._

 _"It is for me," she said._

 _"I don't believe that," Matthew told her touching her nose softly. "And you don't either." Mary felt a warmth spread through her as he kissed her again. "And I intend to convince you otherwise."_

 _"Convince me then," she giggled as he smiled. He kissed her again. She had been like this with Matthew for only a few months. He'd kissed her for the first time one night as she struggled to come to terms with her favorite horse being ill and he had tried to comfort her._

 _But Matthew had been dreaming about this for a year beforehand, it took him and entire year to kiss her._

 _"Will that convince you?" He asked breathlessly._

 _Mary bit her lip. "Convince me again."_

 _They hadn't heard Sybil coming down the stairs and almost fell backwards at the sound of her voice._

 _"You want to get caught?" Sybil asked. She was only 11 and yet she had seen them kiss more than once. "You want Papa to murder you?"_

 _Mary and Matthew laughed at her frown and crossed arms; they both knew how much Sybil had managed to cover for them and somehow almost rooted for them._

 _She said they were cute but couldn't stand the kissing._

 _"You just wait until you meet the right boy," Mary had told her._

 _"Papa says I can't date until I have grey hair." Sybil told her._

 _Mary had a feeling that would happen sooner than her poor Papa would want._

* * *

Matthew stayed in bed with George for a good half an hour. He had confessed to the talk he would have with Mary.

"To tell you the truth, I'm scared."

"I would be too," George laughed, then fell silent. "But do you think she'll ask you to come home?"

"I don't know," Matthew said. "But it's a start."

"Can I call Mom?" George asked. His father smiled.

"Of course." Matthew squeezed him gently, ruffling his hair. "I will go check on your sisters."

Mary excused herself early from dinner. She was tired and anxious. She had gotten home and slipped into bed.

"Hello?" She saw Matthew's picture appear on the screen of her phone.

"Mom?" It was George.

"Hi sweetheart, how was dinner?" Maru didn't want to sound too excited about George calling her. But oh how she missed her little boy.

She heard nothing on the other line. "George?

Sobs. Mary's first thought of something happening to Matthew. "What is it?"

"I'm sorry," George said. "I didn't mean to talk to you like that… or not talk to you at all, I just…"

"it's alright," Mary sighed. "But we have to be able to talk to each other, I'm willing to try if you are."

"Okay."

That was all she needed.

It was a start.

* * *

 _Mary leaned against the toilet as she managed to catch her breath._

" _Mary? Everything okay?" It was Cora. "Mosley is driving you to school."_

 _She sighed._

 _It was the time of the year. Her birthday was coming up and the time her age caught up with Matthew's and they were both 17._

 _Mary was not a bad student. In fact she excelled, she understood biology better than most thanks to Granny's blunt nature._

 _"I'm coming!" She called._

 _Most days she couldn't wait to see her boyfriend. Matthew had changed schools last summer and transferred to finish high school with her in the States, but today she was afraid to confront him as she feared the worst._

 _He lived with one of Reginald's sisters not far from the Crawley residence as his relationship with Mary and the family's conservative views didn't allow him to stay with them._

 _Especially with Robert away from the family for most of the year._

 _"You look terrible," Edith said as soon as her sister reached the car._

 _"Let's hope you're not catching something Miss Mary." Mosley told her kindly._

 _"Maybe Matthew gave her a bug from all the kissing," Mary heard Sybil giggle._

 _Oh yes, a bug._

* * *

 _"Mary?" he'd asked her, she had a greenish tone to her skin. "Are you alright?"_

 _"I'm fine," she told him as he offered to take her bag. "I might be getting the flu."_

 _Matthew smiled softly. "I'm sorry." He pulled a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear. "You should have stayed home."_

 _"Not when we have winter finals next week," she said quickly._

 _She had spent the rest of the day avoiding him; he had different classes and only saw him at lunch. She had not regained her appetite._

 _"You should eat something," Mabel told her._

 _"Is one of your little sisters sick?" Lavinia asked._

 _"No, I just woke up feeling like this… I'm afraid it might be…"_

 _"Mary, please don't say it," Lavinia said. "You've been with Matthew?"_

 _"Yes," she said._

 _"Wouldn't you?" Mabel asked earning a glare from Mary. "I only mean I would not be able to resist someone like Matthew Crawley, Mary hasn't."_

 _"Do you think you could be?" Lavinia asked worriedly._

 _"Where've you been? I've been looking everywhere for you." Matthew caught up with them. "What? You look like as if you've seen a ghost."_

 _"She might as well have!" Mabel shot. "Can't you just let her be?"_

 _Matthew glanced over at Mary._

 _"We'll talk later," she told him softly. "I promise."_

 _And with that she was gone. She didn't see him for the rest of the day._

 _Her ever chivalrous Matthew._

 _He waited for her outside school at the end of the day._

 _"How are you feeling? Any better?"_

 _"A little," Mary said. "Can we just, can we go to our spot?"_

 _"Your mother will kill me if I have you home late," he said._

 _"I asked Lavinia to cover for me," she said._

 _"Is she going to be able to manage that?" he asked with worry more than mockery._

 _"You underestimate her, let me worry about that. Just drive."_

 _And that he did. They went to the park, sat on the swings like those summers at Downton._

 _"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Matthew asked. Mary sighed. She felt tears invade her eyes._

 _"Is it Robert?" Matthew asked._

 _"I'm just wondering if you'd love me enough to stay with me…"_

 _"Mary, you're scaring me," he told her kneeling in front of her. "Whatever it is…"_

 _"I think I might be pregnant."_

 _And once again, Mary couldn't escape from those deep blue eyes._

* * *

Mary held the phone to her chest. George had called her to apologize over his behavior. Whatever Matthew had said to him seemed to have worked.

She sighed. Tomorrow was something she was looking forward to. Having Matthew home for the first time in months.

Their home.

He was on time as usual, four young children in his wake.

"I've brought ice cream," he told her nervously.

She smiled softly. "Well that's something we can all enjoy, isn't it?"

"Daddy's staying for dinner?" Maggie asked.

"I am," he beamed at her. "But we best help Mommy. Who wants to help set the table?"

"Me!" Maggie said. She grabbed Gracie's hand and moved towards the kitchen.

George rolled his eyes. "Go on then," Matthew told him. "The more we help, the sooner we eat."

Soon they were alone, as Jack had joined in, wobbling as his sisters gave him commands, Matthew turned to Mary. "So…"

"Here we are," she said. She was about to speak when a clash was heard in the kitchen.

"Mommy, Daddy!" Matthew smiled as Mary followed him.

"Do I have to?" Maggie asked as Mary put smashed beans into her plate.

"Don't you want to have ice cream later?" Mary asked.

"Yes, buuut…"

"Then you have to eat beans, that first and then ice cream," Matthew said.

Maggie sighed loudly. "Papa was extremely disappointed that he missed you, I told him you'd make it up to him." Mary said.

Matthew had told Robert he wasn't going to make it to the house as he had the children late. Of course he hadn't dared to mention he was having dinner with Mary or all hell would break loose

"I'll see him on Thursday, no problem," Matthew said. He and Matthew met for coffee every Thursday when Robert was visiting.

It was their thing and no matter the circumstances, his father in law would not allow him to miss it.

"It's best if we don't give the family any room to speculate." Mary told him.

"My lips are sealed." He said.

"Daddy, Mommy says my costume is almost ready," Gracie said excitedly.

"Is it? Do I get a peek before the actual night?"

"No, it's a surprise," Mary said.

It was so easy to fall back into a banter and routine with Matthew.

"Oh, how is that fair?"

"You should show Mommy your Beast voice Daddy," Maggie beamed. "It's sooo scary! Maybe she'll show." Mary and Matthew smiled.

Mary turned to Matthew. He lowered his face.

"I will hear it at some point, I'm sure." Mary said as she winked at him.

As the meal went on, Matthew stared more and more at his plate. He could see Mary wasn't eating much either.

* * *

Then the time came to send them off to bed. Mary asked George to put on a movie for him and the little ones in her room while she and Matthew talked. He eyed her for a moment, unsure.

I'll be right back," Mary said.

"I'll be here," he told her.

Matthew began to feel a sharp pain in his leg as stress began to rise.

Another little gift from his time overseas.

It was strange really, to be in his own home and feel like a stranger. He moved towards the living room. Pictures of the children served as main décor but one particularly caught his eye.

One of him and Mary, both in their late teens in Times Square.

"I've always loved that picture, life seemed easier back then," he heard Mary say behind him.

"It was," Matthew admitted. "Before William and my injury."

He sat down.

"Before any of it," Mary said bitterly. Matthew smiled softly. "How is physical therapy?"

"It might be for life, crutch and all but at least I didn't lose my leg. Although I suspect I'll have to depend on others for certain things. "

"You will overcome it, you've done it with worse," she told him.

"Have I?" he smiled grimly. "I suppose it's my battle scar, a reminder."

"I guess, but isn't it better not to focus on it?" She sounded harsher than intended. "Focus on moving forward?"

"I'm trying," he said. "But I can't deny it's a part of me. Because what I've lived makes me who I am, it's a part of me," he told her.

"Of course, but it's not everything," she said.

"Of course not. You and those kids are everything." Those words wheigthed like bricks on Mary.

Matthew was always the gentleman. And she had been the Ice Queen.

She swallowed hard.

"Tom says you've been going to meetings," She said. Mary saw him tense up.

"I made a promise didn't I?" Matthew said as his tone changed.

"You did," Mary moved to join him on the couch. "I'm so very proud of you." She almost reached for his hand but her fingers just lingered so close.

Matthew smiled. "It's all I've ever wanted, for you to be proud of me," he told her, sadness in his voice. "And all I did was disappoint you and be an embarrassment for my children."

"Matthew," Mary said softly. "I..."

"I don't know why I'm so nervous, last time I was like this I made love to you." Mary offered him a knowing smile.

"You don't have to be nervous around me," She said shyly. "I just want us to make this right."

"As do I." Matthew said. "I want to be worthy of you again Mary."

"Who said you were unworthy?" she asked as her breath hitched.

She closed her eyes as his hand touched her cheek. She leaned into his touch.

"I'm so sorry for all the pain I've caused you, I'm so, so sorry."

Mary felt her breath hitch as she found his strong gaze.

You couldn't hide from that pool of deep blue and all she found in them was pain and guilt.

"You weren't the the only one in pain, after you lost William… I should have done better." She said. "You were so..."

"It was never an excuse," he said bitterly. She saw tears glistening in his eyes. "I made his loss more important than what really mattered to me." He was closer to her face now. "And for that I'm truly sorry, as it cost me my family."

"It hasn't, we're all still here." She said. "I'm still here."

"Where do we go from here?" he asked, glancing down at his ring

"I honestly don't know," they heard Jack crying upstairs and broke the closeness instantly.

"I better go." He said. Mary nodded. Oh how she missed him. How she wished he would stay.

"I don't want them to get confused," Mary said. "I think it's best if we…"

 _She cursed silently at the longing her heart caused her._

He kissed her. His soft lips on hers and his tongue trying to access her mouth.

"Matthew, wait," she pulled him away. "We can't…"

"I know," he lowered his face. "But I so wish we could." He touched her chin softly and she leaned closer, the smell of his after shave, intoxicating her.

"Mommy!" Jack screamed.

"I have to go," she said softly as he sighed. "But will you come up and say goodnight?"

"Alright" He joined her upstairs. George eyed them suspiciously.

"Can't you stay Daddy?" Gracie asked. "Please?"

"Not tonight darling, no." Matthew said softly as he put her down and tucked her in. "I'll see you at pick up on Tuesday, sweet dreams. I love you."

"Love you Daddy," he leaned to kiss her cheek.

His heart shattered as he kissed them and said goodnight and they bagged him to stay.

Mary's eyes locked with Matthew's. "Daddy won't be so far away. I promise."

Was that a promise of something else? A glimpse of hope?

She accompanied him to the door. "I hate to leave like this," he told her.

"You have to. It's not a good idea if you stayed." Mary said.

Matthew sighed. "Of course, but... I miss you, I miss us. I feel so unlike me when you're not around."

Mary pursed her lip."It has to be like this." She was battling again with him looking at her so passionately. "It hasn't been easy for me either, in fact I haven't felt this lost since I was 17," Matthew gave her a knowing look. "But we can't just jump back, we're different people now. "

"You mean I am?" Matthew asked.

"We both are Matthew and I pray we find ourselves again soon, but it won't happen tonight." No matter how much she wanted it.

He nodded, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. "I'll see you then,"

"Drive safe." She said.

And then he was gone. He was so close and then so far, like the stars.

She had expected it to go differently ,with a lot more yelling, however Mary suspected neither of them had the energy nor the will to confuse the children even further.

As she watched him walk away, all she could do was wonder, if the yelling and the blaming would come later, however maybe they were past that and there was hope for them still.

* * *

 _ **So… no yelling! I wasn't sure if this would be the right tone of this talk but I thought this would be very much like the way their characters are built,we learned a bit of what happened to Matthew.**_

 _ **More angst and some yelling to come in the next few chapters.**_

 _ **It's the calm before the storm.**_

 _ **How did you like it?**_

 _ **TBC.**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **Thank you so much reading and reviewing, it makes me feel so happy! And thank you again to Kelly!**

 **I own nothing, enjoy!**

 **Chapter 5:**

He'd barely talked to Mary all week, not even about the kids. After the kiss that Sunday night at the house, he had a feeling he hadn't accomplished anything except pushing her away.

Tomorrow was Gracie's play. He wouldn't see them this Friday, it was their time with Mary.

He had been doing some cleaning when he got a call from Tom.

"Hey, are you ready? I was wondering if you wanted us to pick you up?"

"Pick me up?" Matthew inquired.

"Yes, to go to the rink. We are going your way." Tom said.

Matthew sighed. He'd completely forgotten about Sam. "Oh, right."

"You forgot." Tom half- laughed.

"Yeah, I got a little...sidetracked," Matthew admitted.

"By your talk with Mary?" Tom said mockingly. Matthew wasn't sure Mary had told her sister about what had happened. "Strangely enough, she hasn't said anything to Sybil. They usually talk about you for hours. Makes me a little jealous to tell you the truth," There was a silence on the other side. "Did something happen?" Tom asked.

"I..."

"Something did, didn't it?" Tom said. "That's why Mary has been acting so strangely."

Matthew's curiosity perked up. "Strangely how?"

There was movement on the other side and Matthew could hear Sybil arguing with Sam. "Best if we talk later, so want a ride or not?" Tom asked.

Tom and Sybil were there to pick him up about 15 minutes later, he'd gone with a simple black Tee and dark jeans, his jersey tucked under his free arm.

"Come on Matthew, we're going to be late!" Sam said from the backseat. He raised an eyebrow. "Where are your skates?"

"Sam..." Tom began.

"Sorry, I don't think I can skate just yet, it might take me a while," he said calmly as he joined the little boy inside the car.

"We've talked about this remember?" Sybil said. "That's why Matthew goes to the doctor, to make his leg better."

"So you won't skate?"

"Not tonight, sorry buddy," Matthew said. Sam bit his lip. "I can still help you, you're a quick learner, aren't you?" Sam nodded.

"How can a doctor go to the doctor?" Sam asked after a moment.

"I'm not..." Matthew began. He wasn't really a doctor. He was more like a certfied nurse. He'd enlisted young and was in the middle of getting his degree, which he he still worked for to this day. Even though the Army had given him more than enough experience, he needed credentials to work someplace bigger than the clinic.

°The same reason Sybil goes to one. Even if you are a doctor, sometimes you need someone else's help to get better, " Tom explained.

"Oh, it'd be cool if Matthew was like Iron Man, they'd give him a new leg. " Sam piped in, the boy was surely more American than either of them.

Well, maybe except for Tom who had been born into a very large Irish family in New York.

"That would be something, wouldn't it?" He touched the little boy's cheek softly.

* * *

Matthew put his Jersey on as soon as he opened the door. The coldness of the Zamboni and hockey rink filled his bones and his leg felt stiffer.

He used to come here with George years ago to practice. His ever- rebel of a boy usually needed somewhere to blow off some steam. Ever since the age of five, him and Mary had found that playing a rough game as hockey was the answer.

Matthew mostly stayed on the sidelines as he instructed little Sam on how to do a few spins without losing his balance. Thankfully, Sybil wasn't completely clueless as she'd taken on ballet as a child, Tom on the other hand, was struggling a bit to keep himself up.

"He's small!" Tom chided. "It doesn't hurt as much when he falls." Sybil and Sam suppressed a giggle as Matthew laughed.

"Keep telling yourself that, darling," Sybil said. "Shall we get some cocoa so poor Tom can warm up?" she asked Sam.

"Oh, okay. " He said glancing at Matthew. "I hope you can skate again soon Matthew, it isn't as much fun without you."

That burned inside Matthew. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to guarantee Sam to be back on the ice with him, but he wasn't going to give up.

"And what about me?" Sybil scolded him. "Do I mean nothing?"

"Yes, " Sam said with a toothy grin.

"Good answer, now come on."

They sat in the small cafeteria, it was cold but summer outside, so Sam ordered ice cream while the others had some coffee. Thankfully, they were inside the rink, just in case the 7 year old got impatient.

"So, did you Mary got into a big fight? She won't tell me anything," Sybil told Matthew. He raised his face to her.

"She really hasn't?" Matthew bit his lip.

"No," Sybil said. "What happened Matthew?"

""I don't—I don't—it's not my place."

"Why in the world not? We're just trying to help the two of you process this."

"You don't think she'll ask you for a divorce, do you?" Tom asked.

"Tom!" Sybil hissed. Sam glanced up curiously at them. "Of course not,"

"I'm sorry but it's a reality, especially because of how young they were when they got married."

Mathew sighed. Tom and Sybil had began to argue. He couldn't have that, Mary would make him pay hell, but the truth was he needed to tell someone.

"We kissed," he said softly. They didn't even appeared to hear him. "Well, I kissed her."

Sybil fell silent. Her face was priceless.

"Sam, sweetie, why don't you go play for a minute?"

The little boy rolled his eyes. "Is this a grown up talk? Mama and Papa always send me off with the nanny or to play when they have to have a talk."

Sybil and the boys laughed but Sam didn't find it funny. "If you ask me, growing up is too complicated." He took his ice cream and left dragging his feet.

"Don't go too far!" His sister warned. She turned to Matthew. "You, what?"

"We kissed," Mathew said shyly.

"And what did she do?"

"She asked me to leave." he told her. Tom leaned back on the chair. "Said she didn't want to confuse the children."

"Oh and you fell for that?" she inquired. He knew Sybil was mad. "She's pushing you out again Mathew and you must not let her, God knows I love my sister but, you have to put your foot down or she won't let you you back in."

"Sybil..aren't you meant to be on Mary's side?"

"Not when she's being stupid. We all know you're trying. She knows it too but…"

"I agree with her," Matthew told her in all seriousness.

"Of course you do, if Mary says jump you say how high. It's always been like that."

Matthew sighed. "Not always, I could have gone to law school, instead I joined the army."

"It was your way to process what had happened to…" Sybil saw him tense up. "What you went through."

"I should have been there, to support her."

* * *

"Gracie, sweetie, will you stop fussing? I'm almost done," Mary said as she struggled to finish up the little girl's apron.

Gracie pouted. She was having a fit because she was suddenly discontent with playing Mrs Potts.

Mary was sure that Jaimie girl had teased her to no end. "There, I'm done."

"Where's daddy?" Gracie asked.

The children were about to meet with their teacher backstage. "I don't know, I'm sure he's on his way." Mary said softly.

"Mrs. Crawley…" Gretchen, the teachers aid called for Mary. "I'm sorry but it's time for the children to come to the stage now."

"Of course." Mary said. "Go on now Gracie,"

"No," The little girl said simply. "Daddy promised he'd be here."

"Sweetest…"

"I don't want to be Mrs Potts, I wanted to be Belle."

Mary sighed. This was more than just Matthew being late.

"I'm sorry, would you give us a minute?" she asked Gretchen. The young girl smiled.

"Now sweetie, you were so excited, how about all you practiced?" Gracie shrugged.

"Jamie should do both, she's better at it." The little girl said.

"Of course she's not." Mary told her.

"Let me see her!" Sybil gushed, earning an eye roll from Gracie. "Oh, what's wrong?"

"We're having a crisis," Mary told her sister. "Where's Matthew? I thought you were picking him up?"

"No, he said he'd meet us here,"" Sybil said. She glanced over at Tom who held Sybbie. "Have you tired calling him?"

"He's not picking up. Would you ask Tom?"

"Of course," Sybil said.

Mary turned her attention back to her youngest daughter.

"You must go join your friends. It's almost time darling,"

"What if Daddy doesn't come?" Gracie asked. "What if he forgot?"

"He didn't, trust me," Mary assured her. She took the little girl's hand and led her to the side to join her class. "Now, you do your best and have fun, alright?" Mary knelt to face her child.

"What if I'm not good?"

"You will be my love,"

"But…" Gracie's eyes had began to fill with tears.

"Come here," Mary held her close. "It doesn't matter what anyone says. You do your best and have fun, that's all there's to it."

"That's what daddy says," Gracie said.

"Well, there you go. We should always listen to daddy, right?"

"Okay mommy." Mary kissed her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

"Have you seen Matthew?" Sybil asked Robert and Cora.

"No, sweetheart, I don't think he's here yet. Is something wrong?" Cora asked.

"He's running late and Gracie is very upset."

"He isn't picking up," Tom said behind Sybil.

"You don't think something happened, do you?" Cora asked worriedly.

"What's the matter?" Robert asked.

"They can't get a hold of Matthew," Cora said.

Mary made her way back to her seat praying Gracie's tantrum was over.

"Mary," a voice said behind her. It was Henry Talbot, a recently widowed parent whose children were in class together with Mary's. "Everything okay? Seemed you were dealing with a crisis back there."

"Henry, hello. Yes, I think she's just nervous."

"Right," he smiled. "Josh was the same. Playing an old clock seems an enormous task."

"For a four year old, it might be." Mary smiled softly.

"Yes, of course."

"Mary, would you come here? We have a situation." Sybil suddenly appeared by her side.

"Another one?" Mary sighed. "Excuse me Henry." She smiled at the man as her sister pulled her to he side.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Matthew," Sybil said. "Has he texted you? Called?"

"No,"

"Well he isn't here yet," Sybil said. "Tom is trying to get a hold of Alex."

His sponsor? Oh no. Mary could see Sybil was anxious.

She was too, but if all these years had taught her something was to remain calm.

"You saw him yesterday," Mary told her. "Did he seem…"

"He was fine, a little upset he couldn't skate but…" Sybil paused. "Oh Mary please don't be mad."

Her sister arched an eyebrow. "He told me and Tom what had happened with the two of you," Sybil couldn't read her sister.

"Did you say something?"

"Of course," Sybil said. "I spoke my mind about it but he seemed to brush it off."

* * *

" _Aren't you going to say something?" Mary asked as she let the information she just shared sink in. "Please say something,"_

 _"Are you okay?"_

 _Oh, her ever sweet Mathew._

 _"Fine, just nauseous and at a loss for any food, I haven't even taken a test yet but I'm late." She explained._

 _Matthew ran his fingers through his hair. "You should take a test then, so we can be sure." he told her._

 _"And then what?" She asked._

 _"Then we deal with it," he told her taking her hand._

 _"Mama will be gone all day tomorrow with Edith, so she asked me to stay home with Sybil. I could ask Mosley to drive me to the pharmacy."_

 _"Alright, I'll come over," he told her. Mary nodded slowly. "Everything will be fine, Mary."_

 _"How?"_

 _"Because whatever comes, we'll face it together."_

 _She believed him._

* * *

 _She had been furious at Sybil when she'd asked her to join her. How could the pharmacy interest an eleven year old girl?_

 _"Go on then, grab candy and then we can go," Mary told the little girl as she watched her with her small basket._

 _No kid would ever say no to free candy. She waited until Sybil was out of sight to slip into the hall._

 _She had chosen not to go to her usual pharmacy. Far from home was best. She had told Mosley she had a chemistry project and she had already been to several ones without finding what she needed._

 _"Will that be all?" The lady on the counter asked._

 _Sybil had not yet come back . Mary sighed._

 _"Almost, but I'll pay for this first," the lady eyed her carefully. "Sybil! Come on."_

 _"I'm almost done!" she called._

 _Mary had already slipped the small box into her bag when Sybil came back._

 _She had assaulted the sweets section but for once Mary kept quiet._

 _She had other things on her mind._

 _"Matthew!" Sybil grinned as soon as she opened the door for him._

 _He was charming as ever with Sybil. "Are you eating all of that?" He inquired._

 _"You bet!" The little girl said. Mathew laughed. "Mary is in her room, she hasn't come out, says she's working in her chemistry Project. Have you come to help her?"_

 _"In a way, yes." Matthew blushed._

 _Oh to be a child again._

 _"Oh, okay." Sybil said not too convinced. "I hope you don't spend the whole time kissing, that's not very higenic."_

 _Matthew made his way upstairs to Mary's room._

 _His feet felt as heavy as rocks. "Mary?" He knocked softly on the door. "Mary its me."_

 _It took a moment for the door to click. She was wearing sweatpants and a high school shirt._

 _He could see she'd been crying. "Hey."_

 _"Hi," he said softly. He tried to reach for her but she pulled back._

 _"Lets just do it okay? I don't want Mosley or anyone else to see my door closed." She let him in and shut the door behind him._

 _"I just want to say…"_

 _"Save it Matthew, don't be sweet about this, it won't do either of us any good," She said coldly. "I'm sure I'm to be sent to a convent and you'll likely end up dead by either Papa or Carson's doing. "_

 _She wasn't joking._

 _She'd given this a lot of thought once the shock wore off, and as terrified as she was, and much as she craved for him to comfort her, she knew what being pregnant at 17 meant._

 _She would not get rid of it._

 _She couldn't._

 _And after this got out, she was sure her parents would despise Matthew._

 _And her, she could picture her Papa's face._

 _And her Mama's disappointment._

 _It was too much to bear._

 _And of course she'd never hear the end of it from Edith._

 _God help her._

 _And then there was Matthew. It was as much her fault as his but he wouldn't be living with the evidence of their reckless actions for 9 months, yet it affected him just as greatly._

 _She wanted to keep him at bay even though she knew she couldn't do this alone. Yet, the coldness didn't help the fact she was terrified. And she needed him._

 _She opened the door to the bathroom and closed it, Matthew leaned against the door as they waited._

 _She opened the door a minute later. "Mary? Everything okay?"_

 _"Come sit with me?"_

 _Matthew sighed. "Of course."_

 _She was sitting on the toilet, the small stick on the sink._

 _"How long does it take?" he asked._

 _"About 3 minutes," she told him._

* * *

"How long until it starts?" Cora asked Mary.

"5 minutes or so I think?" Mary said. She looked at her phone again.

There was still no sign of Matthew.

"Mary?" It was Henry Talbot again, she hadn't realized he was sitting in their line. "Everything okay?"

"Fine, Matthew is running a bit late."

"Oh," Henry said. "Gracie will be so sad if he misses it."

George and Maggie heard him.

"He'll be here," he said. He eyed Henry curiously. He'd noticed the man had slipped forward a few seats until he sat right next to Mary. "Dad wouldn't miss it."

"Right, I didn't mean.."

"You don't know my Dad," Maggie said coldly.

"That's enough." Mary told her children. "I'm sorry about that," she told Henry.

"No, its alright, I overstepped. I'm sorry."

Mary turned her head towards the door to see if Matthew had come in. She eyed Sybil and Edith for a moment.

Nnothing still.

"It's fine, it's just Matthew insists on driving and it worries us."

"I thought you said he was doing better," Henry said.

"Oh, he is. But he's also stubborn and proud," she told him.

The lights were about to be dimmed down when Mary spotted Matthew, Alex by his side.

She sighed with relief.

But the presence of his sponsor didn't go unnoticed.

"Mathew, thank goodness. Sybil was about to call the police," Edith said.

"She really was," Marigold giggled.

Matthew smiled. He said his hellos to everyone but his eyes searching for Mary's.

Jack had become fussy in his mother's arms as he spotted Matthew.

Mary put him down and the little boy grabbed onto the chairs to reach him.

"Hello my darling," Matthew picked him up. "Where's mommy, huh?"

Jack pointed his finger in Mary's direction. "Mommy!"

She was sitting with someone else, although he couldn't make up who it was right away.

"You're here," Mary said with a smile. "I was beginning to worry." She took Jack from him. "I see you found Daddy, sweet one."

Matthew smiled. "I'm here."

"Good."

They remained quiet for a minute until Mary remembered Henry.

"Matthew, nice to see you again," Henry said.

"You remember Henry Talbot? His son is on the play too," Mary said.

Matthew smiled. "Right, hello." He balanced his crutch to the side and offered him his hand.

"Here, I believe this is your seat," Henry moved over. "I should get back to my own anyway."

"You should, its about to start," George said with a grin.

"Right, excuse me." Mary rolled her eyes at her son.

"Sorry I'm late Mary, really. I did wanted to see Gracie before she went on but…"

"Why is Alex here?" she asked. "Is there something wrong?"

"I'll tell you after," he said as the music began playing.

Gracie bit her lip as she peeked to the side of the auditorium.

"Places Gracie, come on now," Gretchen said.

"Is my daddy here yet?"

"I don't know sweetie," she told her.

She spotted him right away though as the curtain lifted.

She beamed at him and he waved, camera in hand.

"She looks great," Matthew told Mary."I told you you should have gone into fashion."

"You did," Mary grinned.

* * *

As soon as the play was over, Matthew tried to make his way to the front to meet Gracie.

But he got kicked off somehow, falling to the side.

"Matthew!"

Gracie had seen the whole thing. She'd seen her daddy fall a couple times since getting hurt but it was really scary when it happened.

Tom was the first to reach him. "Are you alright? Did you hit your head?"

"No, I'm fine." Mathew sighed as Tom pulled him up. "Embarrassed but alright."

Tom smiled. "Here, let's get you to sit." He helped him up as Sybil pulled up a nearby chair. He could see Mary rushing over.

"Matthew, are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," he told Mary. "I just need a minute,"

"Alright, I'll be back." She touched his hand softly.

He turned his face on to the back on the chair Tom had gotten and saw Gracie. Mary was already by her side as the little girl had began to cry.

Matthew cursed under his breath.

He couldn't really catch a break today.

"Are you sure you are okay?" Gracie asked for the third time as she sat with her father on a chair in the auditorium. "Does it hurt?"

"Not too much darling. Don't worry, I'm sorry I scared you."

"It's okay," she said grabbing his face with both hands. "You're strong daddy, I know."

"I love you." he touched her nose softly and she giggled. "You're so brave."

"Matthew, did you bring the car? We might as well drive you over to the house, Papa has invited all of us for dinner," Edith said as she held Marigold's hand.

"Are you feeling better uncle Matthew?" The young girl asked.

"Yes, definitely." He smiled reassuringly. "And no,Alex drove me over."

"Alright, you can come with us then," Edith said.

"No daddy, with us okay? Please?" Gracie asked. "You can ride shotgun."

Matthew eyed Edith. "I'll let Mary know."

"Thank you," Matthew said.

Edith smiled softly and led Marigold to where Robert and Cora were.

Mary sighed as she grabbed Jack by the hand and went looking for Maggie and George.

She was sure they had scattered around to find their fiends.

"Alex?" She spotted Matthew's sponsor just making his way out. "Do you mind if I ask you…"

"He wasn't drinking Mary, if that's why you're worried about. He'd said he had grabbed a cab and asked me to pick him up." He said quickly, easing her.

"A cab? Where?" She asked cheekily. "The cemetery," the older man said. Mary's head clicked.

"Oh right." she mumbled.

"He didn't tell me much, just asked me to give him a ride back," Alex said softly. "You two seem in good terms and that gives him some peace of mind."

Matthew had been in all the way in New York tonight, Mary was sure their talk had stirred feelings in Matthew regarding William and that worried her. She didn't want to have to deal with him starting all over again. "I stayed over in case you guys needed something else but if…" Alex said.

"You could come have dinner at the house."

"I don't want to impose," Alex replied shyly.

"No, not at all, you did drive Matthew all the way here, it's the least I can do."

"Okay, thank you."

"And thank you Alex, for being there for him."

"Of course, I'm just one of those steps he needs to climb to get to the place he wants to be, his family, you are the ones holding him up."

Mary smiled softly.

Matthew had been that for her as well when they were kids, always holding her up when she felt as if she was falling.

* * *

 _Mary shivered the sound of her beeping alarm. "It's time."_

 _"Mary, just whatever happens I want you to know…" he touched her cheek softly._

 _"I know. I'm sorry I snapped at you." Mary said softly. "I'm just scared."_

 _"I am too," he admitted shyly. "But I'm here."_

 _Matthew smiled taking her hand. He saw Mary grab the stick._

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

 _"Mary! You know you're not supposed to lock the door," Sybil called. The two teens almost jumped to their feet._

 _Their luck had been cast into that small stick._

 _"Is Matthew staying for lunch? Mosley wants to know so he can set up a place for him."_

 _Mary squeezed Matthew's hand. "Lets go."_

 _"Are you sure? We should talk.."_

 _"Not right now," Mary said. "We shouldn't keep Sybil waiting."_

* * *

"Everyone in?" Mary asked as she looked back at her children. She then turned to Matthew. "Lets go."

It was hard for the Crawley clan not to fuss about Matthew.

Dinner went well enough, although he hadn't been able to have a talk with Mary.

All the focus was of course on Gracie but she didn't like to be the center of attention, just as much as Matthew detested it.

He'd slipped into the drawing room without anyone noticing.

Or so he thought.

"I was wondering where you'd gone to," Mary said behind him.

"Away from all the prying. If it were up to your mother, she'd confine me to a bed."

"You know how they can be," Mary said.

"That I do," Matthew agreed. Mary took a seat next to him, she noticed he was holding a picture.

She recognized it right away, it was the garden party at Downton for her 17th birthday.

Spring was almost in full force. She was seated with her parents and granny. Her sisters behind her as Matthew stood by Robert's right side.

"Mary I wanted to tell you why I was late tonight," he began.

"Alex told me you were in New York." He looked up at her. "That you went to the cemetery."

"I did,"

"To visit William?"

"That was my intention but I…."

"You mean you went to…"

"Yes, I sat there for nearly an hour and lost track of time, my leg was hurting, so I had taken a cab but I knew I'd never be on time if I rode it back so I called Alex."

* * *

" _Mary and Matthew?" A woman's voice came from the door. The young doctor smiled brightly. "How are we feeling?"_

 _"Slightly nauseous," Matthew said._

 _"Funny, I'm the one having a baby." Dr. Mars smiled._

 _"Right sorry,"_

 _"Mary would you lay back, please?"_

 _Mary did as she was told, her small bump making itself known. "You're about 14 weeks along now so we might be able to find out the sex of the baby."_

 _Mary glanced over at Matthew. He nodded._

 _She and Matthew had come alone. They had not told anyone about the appointment even though this wasn't the first of many they would have._

 _He had insisted on telling Cora but Mary refused._

 _"Hello there baby," Dr Mars said. "Nice to see you,"_

 _Mary and Matthew had already heard the baby's heartbeat, but Matthew was shocked by how much he already loved this little baby they'd made even through it came with great consequences._

 _"So, are you guys ready to find out?"_

 _Mary turned to Matthew. "I love you."_

 _"I love you so much," he gave her a quick kiss._

 _"You better be thinking about how to keep the boys away. You're having a girl."_

* * *

"Does your leg hurt?" Mary asked as Matthew began to stare at her.

"No, not really," Matthew said. "This picture was taken before we even told anyone. " Matthew traced his fingers on the glass. "Before I had your father not speak to me for weeks."

Mary smiled. Oh yes he remembered. Matthew had to sneak into the house to bring her any craving he desired.

Right after they told everyone, Reginald had warned Matthew he'd be going back to England.

Isobel had to intervene on her son's behalf, although she didn't approve of his actions.

"She'd be a teenager by now," Matthew said softly. "Can you imagine having to deal with George on top of that?"

Mary laughed. "I can imagine her having you wrapped around her little finger."

It had been so long since they've even talked about her.

They thought about her everyday of course, but it had been so long since they had done it together.

"Do you think about her?" Mary asked. "She crosses my mind constantly and I wish I could…"

"Me too," he admitted. She took his hand in hers. "Mary, I.."

"We didn't do things the way we were supposed to, did we?"

* * *

Matthew crossed his legs and closed his eyes to feel the air on his face. He then opened them slowly, touching the small stone as he went.

 _Emma Josephine Crawley was carved in elegant writing._

* * *

 **So sorry if I took forever to update. I had been sick all week and had to make up for work.**

 **Please don't kill me for the ending.**

 **Funny thing. What happened to Matthew, happens to me on a daily basis so it's nice to connect.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **I still own nothing, thanks again to Kelly!**

 **Chapter 6:**

 _The dim lights inside the house were the only thing Matthew could make out when he got home at night._

 _He hated working late. He knew of some people who prided themselves on being buried on their work._

 _But Matthew couldn't wait to get home at the end of the day, to hear the children quarrel with each other and sit quietly with Mary enjoying a glass of wine._

 _To be honest, there was never a boring moment going on at home. And he made a point of it as soon as he opened the door._

 _Shoes of all sizes were scattered by the door and coats hung. He took off his own and did the same with the shoes._

 _Praying he would not encountered one of Jack's Legos lying around._

 _It seemed the children were all over the house because no one noticed he'd come home._

 _No one but his faithful companion Perseus._

 _"Hello my friend, where's everyone?" Matthew patted the dog behind the ears. "Mary?!" he called._

 _Perhaps she was in the kitchen._

 _That's where he found her, Jack on her hip as she and Anna made dinner. "When did you get home?" Mary asked._

 _"Just now," he said. He took Jack from her and kissed her softly. "I must say it's scary just how quiet the house is."_

 _"George is sleeping over at Toby's and the girls are watching cartons," Mary explained._

 _Right, it was Friday after all._

 _"That explains it." He huffed. "And how are we all today?"_

 _"Anna is leaving tomorrow for her long awaited trip to California," Mary said._

 _"Yes. I do wonder how we'll manage without you." Matthew smiled softly._

 _"You don't need me that much Mr. Crawley," Anna smirked._

 _"Oh I don't know…"_

 _"Don't worry about it; we'll be leaving for Downton in two weeks. I'm sure Carson will suffice."_

 _"Even I am counting my steps around Carson darling,"_

 _"That's because of how much he would catch us kissing." Mary laughed as Matthew blushed. "You're terrified of him."_

 _"I am not!" Matthew argued on. Anna couldn't help but laugh._

 _"Even I am scared of Mr. Carson Mr. Crawley," Anna assured him._

 _Matthew huffed._

 _"Kiss!" Jack babbled. "Daddy kiss!" Mathew smirked. He lifted the boy slightly and kissed his cheek which made him giggle._

 _"Daddy kiss!" he said again._

 _"Another one?" Matthew smiled. "Alright." He kissed his nose this time. Then Jack turned serious._

 _"Mommy kiss!" Mary looked over at Anna._

 _"If you insist," Matthew said, leaning to the side so he could kiss her softly._

 _"Ugh…" came Gracie's voice. "Did you know there are cooties in a boy's mouth?"_

 _Matthew and Mary laughed, breaking apart._

 _"Is that so?" Mary asked._

 _"Huh-huh, Jaimie says so."_

 _Mary wished she would stop listening to that little girl. She was too precocious for her age._

 _"Well I for one don't have cooties, had myself checked," Matthew said in all seriousness._

 _"I drove him to the doctor's myself," Mary agreed._

 _"Oh," Gracie pushed her lips together in deep thought. "So it's just boys that aren't married who have them?"_

 _"'Must be," Mary said._

 _"It is, they grow out of them past 40," Matthew put in. "Now can I get a kiss?"_

 _Gracie nodded and reached to kiss his cheek as Matthew bent down._

 _"Dinner is almost ready," Anna said._

 _"Right, go wash your hands little one," Matthew told Gracie._

 _She bounced back up. "Call everyone to come down!"her mother called. "Speaking of, we have a situation with..."_

 _"Daddy, you're home." Mathew shared a glance with Mary. She barely even called him that now. "Good, I need to talk to you."_

 _Mary glanced at Matthew placing a hand on her husband's shoulder and taking the baby from him. "She's all yours."_

 _"Hello to you too," Matthew said, leaning against the kitchen counter. If he knew her and he did, she was about to ask for money or permission to spend it at the mall with her friends._

 _"Hi…so mom said I had to ask you."_

 _"Ask me what?"_

 _"If I could go to a party next weekend. It's a pool party at Stacey's for her birthday."_

 _Matthew narrowed his eyes. He wondered what the big deal about asking him was. She usually went above his head and asks Mary for permission because he wasn't too keen on her going to parties._

 _But she was almost fourteen. And he was a bit of an old fashioned guy. Most parents had told him that._

 _"At her house?"_

 _"Yeah, remember she has that huge pool? Her parents will be there the whole time."_

 _Matthew sighed. "I'll have to talk about it with your mother but I don't see why not." He gave her a smile._

 _Emma's grin was as wide as her brother's on Christmas morning. "Yes! Thank you daddy, thank you!"_

 _She went on to hug him. She was almost as tall as Mary._

 _"Also, can I stay over? Everyone is."_

 _"We'll talk about that later, go on and get ready for dinner."_

 _"That went well," Mary said behind him as Emma disappeared upstairs. "I thought it would take a lot more convincing."_

 _She kissed him softly._

 _"I'm not entirely sure about it, but she seems happy," Matthew said._

 _"You have such weakness for your girls, don't you?"_

 _"And who do you think is to blame?" he told her huskily, pulling her close and kissing her again._

 _Dinner went smoothly. His children took turns to tell him about their day and their last few weeks before summer._

 _They'd be leaving for Downton in two weeks._

 _For a 2 whole months and it was his most favorite thing._

 _Just going back to the place he'd called home once, seeing Robert and spending time with his family without the worries of school or work._

 _He figured that was the reason he'd given Emma permission to go to that pool party._

 _She was always complaining about how she never saw any of her friends over the summer because they always traveled to England._

 _Edith and Sybil would be going too and the whole Crawley clan would be in full force._

 _"Daddy did you hear me?" Maggie asked. He turned to his middle daughter. "What are you thinking about?"_

 _"Oh sorry sweetheart." he said. "You were saying?"_

 _"I think you need to go to bed daddy," Maggie laughed. "Work doesn't do you good."_

 _Matthew sighed. That girl was too much like Mary._

 _"Maybe we all need to, we have to get a good night sleep for your game tomorrow," Mary said._

 _Maggie grinned. "Can we watch a movie first?"_

 _"Please?" Gracie echoed._

 _Matthew couldn't say no. Mary was right, his daughters had him where they wanted him and he loved it._

 _So he cuddled in the couch on Friday night with his girls, Emma included and he loved every second of it._

 _He and Mary had had it rough when they first had Emma, financially Cora would never have allowed Robert to cut them off entirely, even if in his rage he wished he had._

* * *

 _Mary was 17 and Matthew short of 18 and they were about to be parents._

 _Cora had admitted to Mary she was about her age when she'd had her, but the thing was, she'd already married Robert._

 _Reginald had been sick and Isobel had tried her best to balance caring for her husband while Matthew insisted on going to school in America._

 _He had screwed things up for himself really quickly. He had almost been sent back when his parents had found out what had happened._

 _Matthew wasn't sure if he'd live long to get back to Manchester._

 _Carson and Robert would see to it._

 _"What are you thinking about?" Mary asked him as they got ready for bed. The movie was long- over and the kids tucked in bed. "Seems like you are somewhere else."_

 _"I'm just…remember when we first moved here? Emma couldn't have been more than a toddler and we were so clueless on how to do it on our own…"_

 _"Oh yes I remember, I also remember mama telling us we didn't have to go but you somehow managed to get me into the car because you said you had a surprise. You'd rented us a house."_

 _"And Mrs Hughes kept looking at me like I was just a common thief or something when we left Downton that summer."_

 _"And Carson… oh god." They laughed at loud shushing each other so they wouldn't wake the baby._

 _"I thought I'd never be allowed to step inside Downton ever again."_

 _"But we somehow managed to make it work, didn't we? Even away from home and everyone we knew."_

 _Yes, once Mary had finished school they had agreed they would continue their education._

 _When Emma had first arrived, Matthew had been halfway working and going to late night classes so he could care for their child while Mary graduated._

 _She'd never admitted to herself but she'd love to watch Matthew give Emma a bath and read her a story before bed and then head to school._

 _"We were so young back then, weren't we?" Mary leaned her cheek against his as he held her close._

 _"We still are. Everyone used to say you were Emma's sister, not her mother."_

 _"What a nightmare, no one would take me seriously."_

 _"I did."_

 _"That was because you got me pregnant. You had to agree on everything I'd say or I would have murdered you."_

 _"Matthew?" Mary dragged her feet as she came into their room. Her mama and sisters were out as there was no other sound. "Matthew, are you here?"_

 _"What are you doing?" she heard him exclaim as a splash sound followed. "Do you want me to get all wet?"_

 _Emma giggled._

 _"Oh, you think it's funny, do you? I have to get you ready before mommy comes back and sees us. She doesn't like it when I let you play in the tub for long."_

 _Mary frowned. "Let's do it then, I'll get your towel so I can wrap you nice and warm." he continued._

 _She then remembered he had a test and she'd insisted letting her get Emma ready for bed so he could study._

 _But she had been in the middle of exams as well and… he was being Matthew and helping her more than she needed._

 _She heard silence for a moment and then the baby fussing. Her first reflex would be to reach for Emma but she held back._

 _"Shh my darling, Daddy's right here." Maybe it was because Matthew had remained most of his life in England, but he sounded incredibly grown up and… hot. "It's alright."_

 _There he was, soaked and holding their baby daughter in his arms, soothing her._

 _Her Matthew._

 _"Do you need some help? You should be studying."_

 _Matthew spun around. "How long had you been standing there?_

 _"Not long. Here, I'll change her while you do the same, I don't want her to get sick." Matthew rolled his eyes._

 _"Hello my beautiful girl. Why is daddy making you cry?"_

 _"I wasn't…" Matthew reached the dresser for a clean shirt and took off the one sticked to his body. "She must have gotten cold."_

 _Mary couldn't help but look. "I know, I'm just teasing you. Daddy is so easy Emma."_

 _"Huh huh, funny."_

 _"I am, thank you very much. Where are Mamma and the girls?"_

 _"Out, Cora said something about dresses," he told her._

 _"Oh yes. Prom," Mary said flatly. "Too bad I will be missing mine."_

 _Matthew arched an eyebrow. "No, you won't. This is your last one. We're going."_

 _"Says who?"_

 _"I do," Matthew insisted. "It's a very important part of your life Mary; I don't want you to miss it."_

 _"It's just a dance Matthew."_

 _"Where we come from, dances are not just that. They are celebrations for milestones and this is one."_

 _He was just inches from her now. "We'll get your mother and Sybil to stay with Emma."_

 _"Are you really going to make me do it? People will always remember me as the girl who got pregnant during sophomore year by her very distant cousin…"_

 _"No they will not." He tried kissing her but she pushed him back. Emma was still between them._

 _"You just wait and see, I can already picture my ten year reunion." Mary closed her eyes as Matthew touched her cheek. "And all the babbling."_

 _"Would you just be quiet and let me kiss you?" Matthew asked._

 _Mary nodded. His kiss was sweet, slow._

 _"Will you two quit it?" They heard a voice behind them._

 _Edith. "Sybil lives here and Mamma is letting you stay here, basically supporting you. You could at least be decent. You already have a baby."_

 _"Who made you so miserable, please tell me? Is it that no one has asked you to prom?" Mary snarled back._

 _Matthew was about to say something but Mary held him back._

 _"As a matter of fact, I am going with someone, not which is any of your business."_

 _"Good, we couldn't care less." Mary shot. She stepped back over at the changing table._

 _"I still don't understand how you can stand her," Edith told Matthew, storming out of the room._

 _"What? I know you want to say something. Let's hear it." Mary said when Matthew took a step closer._

 _"Why can't you two just get along? Why is it so hard?"_

 _"Because she's impossible. And for the record, she just insulted us."_

 _"Mary, she's your sister," he told her._

 _"So? I should let talk about us like that? you should care more. But if course you won't say anything. Saint Matthew!"_

 _"It's not like that…"_

 _"No?" She got the baby into her pajamas and pushed her way through the room. "Well one of us has to have character."_

 _"Mary, would you just…"_

 _"You best hurry up. You don't want to be late for your test," Mary said. Matthew sighed as she made her way downstairs._

 _Truth be told, Edith had a point. Not everyone would have taken them in, allowing them to raise their child with very little worries about money._

 _He made his way downstairs a moment later; Cora and Sybil were making cookies as Mary fed Emma._

 _"Matthew! Do you want to see my dress? It's beautiful…"_

 _Matthew smiled. "Sure, go get it."_

 _Sybil grinned and rushed off._

 _"In case you get hungry after your big test…" she handed him a small bag with some leftovers of what they'd eat._

 _"Thank you," Matthew smiled. Cora glanced over at Mary._

 _"Here, see? It's almost like Mary's. Do you like it?" Sybil had come back with a beautiful red dress._

 _"I'm sure you'll be the most beautiful one there," he told her truthfully._

 _"Well, I'm not as pretty as Mary," Sybil said. "You just wait until you see the dress Mama got her."_

 _"I better go," he said. "Do you need anything while I'm gone?"_

 _"No thank you sweetheart. Good luck on your test." Cora said._

 _"Thank you." He smiled warmly._

 _Mary had stood up from her chair. "I'm sorry; we'll talk later, okay?"_

 _"Alright." He took the baby from her. "You almost ready for bed my sweet one? I'll see you tomorrow."_

 _He placed a kiss on her cheek, handing her back to Mary._

 _"I love you," he told Mary, touching her chin softly._

 _Matthew made his usual rounds as he was about to go bed._

 _The girls and Jack slept soundly._

 _"Emm?" He opened the door slowly as he heard her call him. "It's late sweet one."_

 _"Just one more?" She asked him. She'd been watching one of those American teen shows Sybil had introduced her to. "Please?"_

 _"Fine, what is it that you and Sybil love so much?" He looked at the screen._

 _Nope. He still didn't understand it._

 _"Well, it's fun…"_

 _"I'm sure." He kissed her goodnight. "Sleep well."_

 _"You too, Daddy." Matthew touched her chin softly as he did when she was a little girl. "Thanks again for letting me go to the party."_

 _Matthew smiled. "You are very welcome."_

 _She turned back to her show. Matthew stoped by the door. "Emma?"_

 _"Hmm.."_

 _"Would you promise me something?" She turned her attention to him. "Don't grow up too fast will you?"_

 _"Dad, you still have like at least six years left before I finish school." She got off the bed . "But I promise to let you know, okay?"_

 _"That sounds like something I could get my head around." Matthew said._

 _"Good, I love you."_

 _"Love you too."_

 _Princess Emma was growing up. And it made his heat hurt._

* * *

Matthew woke up in cold sweat.

He was alone.

"Dad?" George appeared by the door. His face was full of worry. "Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry I woke you." Matthew incorporated himself.

George walked up to the bed sat next to him.

"It's fine. I wasn't sleeping anyway. Did you have a nightmare?"

No. More like a wonderful make believe dream of what life could have been for him and Mary.

For the children and Emma.

Emma.

"George?" Matthew asked shyly. "Would you think too little of your father if I asked you to stay with me for a while?"

George smiled. He lay down by Matthew's side and his dad pulled him close. "I heard you and mom talking on the phone," George said.

"That's not something you need to worry about," Matthew said.

"But we're leaving for Downton in a few days. You'll be all alone."

Matthew cringed. The idea of being without them, even without Mary for so long was something scary.

He was afraid that being without them meant he'd have to face his greatest fears alone.

* * *

 **I hope you liked the AU sequence. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I'm loving them.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **I still own nothing. It's been forever, I know.**

 **Chapter 7:**

Mary sighed. It would be a miracle to be at the airport on time. Her children were mostly well-behaved but today of all days they seemed reluctant to do anything. She figured it had something to do with them missing Matthew.

George was again, awfully quiet. Mary knew from her brief conversation with Matthew that the boy had made a compromise to try and improve their relationship, whatever that entailed for both of them.

"Mom?" George waved his hand at her. "Everything okay?"

Mary closed her eyes briefly. She could loose either of the children at any moment. "Is it your blood pressure?"

"What?" Mary blinked.

"Dad said to watch out for that, he told me you hadn't been feeling well." George said.

"Oh." Yes, she had confided on Matthew, accidentally as he knew her better than anyone and in one of their weekly parental calls, he'd figured something was wrong.

Matthew of course, worried for her and the children equally. Would she be able to handle it all on her own?

"Alright, let's see then." Mary said.

"Mom?" George asked again.

"I'm alright George, please keep an eye on your sisters, will you?"

George smiled.

"Daddy!" Gracie squealed suddenly. Mary's heart stopped. For a moment she prayed the little girl had seen her father's face on the screen of her phone or...

"Need a hand?" Her sweet Matthew. He was already holding Gracie in his arms. Her hero.

Oh wait.

"What are you doing here? You are meant to have a ticket to be back here." Oh, that sounded too harsh. She refused to look at him.

"I bought one." Matthew replied. "I want to..."

"Are you coming with us Daddy?" Maggie asked.

"Of course not.."

"I was hoping..."

"Matthew, a moment?" Mary glanced at him as he put Gracie down and made sure she was holding onto Jack's stroller. "What does this even mean?"

"I want to come with you. My family..."

"Matthew."

"Please Mary, I'm... truth is I am terrified of what I might to do if I am without the children for so long. Without you too."

Mary stopped cold for a second. "This won't fix everything. It's just a bandage that will just get damped."

"I know. I mean, I am not asking you for anything." Matthew admitted shyly.

"No, just to come on vacation with us, even though we are meant to be separated." Mary huffed.

"I won't even stay at Downton. I will stay at the Inn." Matthew said quickly eyeing the children.

Mary sighed. She hated him. He hadn't left her any choice.

He'd put her on the spot in front of the children, she couldn't possibly say no.

* * *

She hadn't said no.

They arrived at Downton and she still hadn't said no. He would watch him walking slightly behind him with Jack on his shoulders and holding onto Maggie's hand.

"Are you really going to stay at the Inn?" George asked Matthew.

"I have to respect your mother's wishes George. I will come everyday and spend time with all of you, I promise you." Matthew said.

* * *

Robert and Cora stood by the main entrance just as Robert's grandfather had done years before. Carson and Mrs. Hughes beside them.

"I can'r believe he had the nerve to come here." Carson whispered, thankfully only his wife was able to hear him. "After all he's done."

"Charlie, please don't. I heard he's not even staying here, he's just come to help with the children." Elsie said.

Carson did not look at her.

"Mary sweetheart. Finally." Cora said with a smile.

"Believe Mama, I am glad to have survived that flight in one piece." Mary said.

"That bad?" Cora whispered.

"Mary. I am sorry the welcoming committee wasn't bigger, your sister's are out and about in the village"

"Of course." Mary smiled. "Sybil texted me. Don't worry."

"Matthew, my boy... this is quite a surprise, but I heard you are staying in the village. You do know this is your home too?"

"Robert..." Cora hissed at him.

"Oh no, that's alright. It'd be best if for everyone if I don't stay." Matthew told him as he shook his hand. He balanced Jack with his free one.

"Are you sure?" Robert asked.

"Yes, really Robert."

Matthew said his hellos with Cora and she quickly took on caring for the children.

Carson eyed Matthew. "If that glance could kill." Elsie whispered.

"Or at least cause some damage." Carson replied.

"Enough of that, may I remind you he's still married to Mary?" Mrs. Hughes told him in all seriousness. Carson sighed.

"Unfortunately."

"Mrs Hughes." Matthew said smiling at the older woman. "I hope all is well."

"All is, thank goodness." She said. "Thank you."

"Carson." Matthew made a recognizing nod at the other man.

"Mr. Crawley." Carson said. "It will be getting dark soon, shall I have someone drive you back to the Inn?"

"Actually, I'd like to walk around a bit." Matthew said after a moment. "I'd appreciate if you could have my bag sent though."

"Of course," Carson nodded. "I'll arrange it."

"Thank you Carson."

"Dad?" George had come back out, Isis trailing behind him. "Can I walk back with you?"

"Master George I don't think that'd be wise, It will be dark soon. I am sure your father will come in the morning."

"I.."

"Carson is right George, best if you go help your mother." Matthew said. "I'll be fine."

George hugged his father. "I'm so glad you're here."

"I am too."

* * *

 _It's been a while... don't forget to review if you get the chance..._

 _Cheers!_


	8. Chapter 8

**Every Other Weekend**

 **Modern Day AU. Matthew is back for good in Mary's life, finally, but he's not in a good place. She asks him for some time. Will they find their way to each other or will it really mean the end for their relationship? Based on Reba McEntire's song "Every Other Weekend"**

 **I still own nothing. It's been forever, I know.**

 **Chapter 8:**

Matthew knew Carson hadn't been his biggest fan, a fact that had been evident since his young years. As soon as he'd found out his precious Mary was carrying a child, Matthew was no longer in any favour with the family's buttler.

"Do you really have to go Daddy?· Maggie asked with a quivering lip. Matthew stared at his middle child as Mary gave him a reassuring nod.

"Afraid so darling. You all have to be in bed soon anyway, I'll see tomorrow." Maggie wasn't having it.

Mary knew just how much her children struggled without Matthew, how George would shut off or the girls would beg their father to stay just a bit longer, especially now that he'd been spending so much time over at the Estate.

"You heard Daddy, it's time for bed." Mary said. Gracie smiled at her father as he gave her one big kiss on the cheek, Jack sat on Matthew's lap as George was nowhere to be found. "I'm sure he's gone to bed." Mary told Matthew "So can come and say goodnight." He nodded and carried the baby as safely as he could as his limp began to feel heavy in the damp weather. He'd put his crutch on the side of the stair so he could balance better. "

"There we go little one." Matthew said as he put Jack down on the crib, the kids all shared a bedroom at Downton even though they really didn't need to.

Mary had called it forced bonding. "Daddy loves you very much." He kissed the baby's head.

He said goodnight to the girls as well and George still hadn't shown up.

"Mamma?" Mary peeked her head over at the hallway as her mother was on her way to her room. "Have you seen George anywhere?"

Cora smiled. "I haven't... maybe he went down to the kitchen to get a snack?"

Well, that sounded like George. "Or have you checked Samuel's room?"

"No I haven't... thank you." Mary said.

"Sweetheart? Is everything okay with George?" Cora asked stopping Mary on her tracks. "I've seen all the children are happy to have Matthew here. Your father is to."

"Except when night comes." Mary put in. Cora gave her a knowing look. "They must watch their father leave again."

"Well, you could ask Matthew to stay over if you wanted to, he could be all across the hall for all that matter but at least the children would know he's nearby." Mary remained silent.

She made it back down just as Matthew was at the door. "George's not in the kitchen, Daisy told me she hadn't seen him."

"Do you want me to stay and help you look?" Matthew asked. "It could take you a while."

"No, I'll be fine, I'm sure he's just hiding somewhere." The disappointment written in his face almost made Mary open her mouth again.

"Right, text me when you find him then..." Mary nodded. "Goodnight Mary."

"Night Matthew."

* * *

"Master George?" Thomas, he remembered Carson and Mrs. Hughes son. He was older than his had having been on the service when Matthew had first come to Downton but George hadn't seen Thomas in the last few times he'd been back for the summer. "What are you doing here all by yourself?" Matthew was sitting by the other, apparently waiting for him.

"Thomas," George looked up. "You can call me George you know?"

"Your father has said the same thing to me several times, I'm afraid I would not get used to it." Thomas said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. Did my Dad left?"

"You just missed him I'm afraid." Thomas told him sitting besides the boy, his back against the door. "Must be hard, him not staying here."

George nodded. "Well, I've had my share of parent drama. Especially when your mother was younger."

"Yeah, Carson doesn't like my Dad." George admitted sniffing. "Do you know why Thomas?"

"Oh well, that is not a story such a young boy should hear about, best if you ask your mother." He said. George nodded.

"Is this about my sister? Emma?" Thomas held a breath. "Mom says she had a baby before me but she died."

"You know about that?" Thomas asked surprised.

"Mom doesn't like to talk about her but Grandpa told me she'd died." The man nodded. "Is that why Carson doesn't like my Dad? Because my sister died?"

"I think it's a bit more complicated than that, a lot of things happened before you came along, some good, some not so good."

"Oh," George said. "I should go to bed before my mom comes looking for me."

"Yes, I think you should." Thomas said as both of them stood up. "Goodnight Master George."

"Goodnight Thomas."

* * *

"So she kicked you out again?" Sybil asked. She and Matthew sat at the inn's restaurant, Tom had gone along to put Sybie down for the night.

"She didn't kick me out, I'm staying here." Matthew said. "She did find George though."

"Oh good at least she told you about that," Sybil said. Matthew rolled his eyes at him. "What?"

"Would you stop being so hard on your sister? She didn't sent me back on a plane, I take that as good effort."

"Why do you always do that Matthew?" She asked annoyed.

"What?"

"Act like Mary's a saint..." Sybil put in, Matthew fidgeted with his glass of water. "Listen I love my sister but she's not trying hard enough and I'm sick of seeing you both go back and forth."

Matthew sighed. "You and me both."

* * *

 **So I'm playing with a bit of time here, next chapter will be heavy on agnst. Sorry for the short chapter and late update, life's been kind of nuts lately.**

 **Don't forget to review!**


	9. Chapter 9

Hello everyone!

 **AUTHOR'S NOTE**

I have been thinking hard and processing just how I wanted this story to go and I've seem to have hit a road to knowhere so for now I will be taking a break. Maybe polish some ideas so that the story turns out to be the thing I wanted it to be in the first place.

If anyone would be interested in taking over in the meantime. Let me know!

From the bottom of my heart I thank you all!

Until we meet again :)


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